Secret weapon for eny weeny undies!
Not to mention the six-pack his Radio Two listeners never get to see
Jeremy is said to be ruthlessly ambitious, obsessively monitors his own listening figures and tweets endlessly to keep his profile up.
BBC born and bred, he’s a fan of troubled executive Alan Yentob (‘the heart and soul of the BBC’), has worked on Today, Panorama and Newsnight (much to Paxman’s irritation) and earns a vast salary. (‘Down 20-25 per cent since the crash — we’re all doing more for less.’)
When Paxman retired from Newsnight last year, Jeremy expected they’d offer him the job. ‘But they didn’t. And I felt this amazing sense of relief,’ he insists. ‘Anyway, I’ve got a way better job. The listener figures — oh my, there’s no comparison.’
He’s got a point. No one seems to watch Newsnight any more. Partly, he says, because of the 24-hour news cycle, which means it’s hard to surprise viewers at 10.30pm. But partly because of Paxman.
‘Much as I had a difficult, no, a very difficult relationship with Paxo, I do think he was the absolutely big ticket. When he was on, you had the sense anything could happen, even though sometimes he could be so bored he wouldn’t even bother to read the headlines properly.’
Their rivalry was legendary. Vine was instructed by Newsnight executives to keep a low profile and out of Paxo’s way. Paxo tried to crush him by calling him his ‘mini-me’. It stuck. And irritated. ‘Look, I really don’t want this to be about Paxo,’ he pleads. ‘ I’m happy about it all now. I don’t begrudge it. I sort of ended up quite pally with the guy.’ Pally. Really? ‘Well OK, not really, no. I did invite him to my 50th birthday party, though. But he couldn’t make it.’ Did he deign to reply? ‘Er no, funnily enough!’
Who cares anyway? He’s the one limbering up for the ‘greatest show on earth’, doing what he loves most — showing off.
‘I went to the TV Choice awards this week and it was amazingly brilliant. When I turned up, people took photos of me! When you present Panorama, people don’t do that.’
Peter Mandelson once accused Vine of being the only person who wanted to be on television more than him. ‘It was true!’ And he’s having his moment now. Though I’d love to hear Paxman’s derisive snort on the subject.
‘I thought about it a lot. Mixing news and silly is a bad thing. If you go on I’m A Celebrity and you’ve got your head in a fish tank and you’re dressed as a chicken, that’s not great — though [former BBC newsreader] Michael Buerk was retired, so that was fine,’ he adds hastily.
‘I think I would probably draw the line at eating reptiles.’
JEREMY wouldn’t do Celebrity Coach Trip either, and has no truck with claims the BBC is dumbing down. ‘Dumbing down? These people are the Picassos of the dance floor! It’s high art! This is the best show the BBC’s ever done and I’m part of it.
‘You don’t get somebody measuring your inside leg on news!’ he says (35 inches, for those interested).
Later in the day, we reconvene in the dance studio where he strips to what, from where I’m standing, look like jungle-print underpants, but, disappointingly, keeps his shirt firmly on.
As he shares a few of his unforgettable moves, he looks alternately ill and as i f he’s caught in a swarm of wasps. ‘My worry is that I haven’t been maligned by the critics and I really am that bad,’ he says.
But he is trying so very hard and his grey cheeks have gone all pink and the simple joy is shining so brightly, that you can’t help willing him to win. Or at least make it to week two.
If all else fails, just take his shirt off.