Would you let your children dress you?
CHARLOTTE KEMP tried it — with enchanting (if not always practical!) results . . .
Whether I’ve thrown on my scruffiest clothes to walk the dog or s pent an hour trying on dresses for a night out, nothing I wear escapes the sartorial scrutiny of my three daughters.
I’ve lost count of the number of times my youngest, Martha, five, has rolled her eyes at my outfits.
‘You can’t go out in those — they look like pyjamas,’ was her withering critique of this summer’s lounge pants. And once, she refused point blank to get out of the car at the school gates because I was wearing my tatty old gym kit. I had to send her in with a friend.
My ten-year-old daughter, Bea, meanwhile, likes everything to be perfectly colour coordinated. She will often pop her head round my bedroom door when I’m getting ready and pull a face as she casts her eyes down to my shoes.
‘they really don’t go, Mummy. Why don’t you try the brown ones,’ she’ll suggest. her eye for colour — combined with a kooky sense of style — means she’s rarely wrong, and I increasingly value her opinion. She’s certainly my first port of call for those ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ moments.
Perhaps knowing what’s good for him, I can never get an honest answer from my husband, tom.
But if something’s too tight, too short or just plain doesn’t suit me, I can count on Bea to tell me straight.
Amelia, 13, is more diplomatic. We recently sorted through a pile of my old clothes that had been festering in the attic, and when I suggested she might like to wear a boho floral skirt I’ve had since university days, she politely turned it down, later admitting she thought it looked like a pair of curtains.
She’S doing a great job of steering me away from garish patterns in general — but that’s often because she has a hidden agenda. Now she’s a teenager and pretty much the same height as me, she often persuades me to buy things in the hope they will end up in her wardrobe.
thankfully, unlike many teens, she’s not designer-label obsessed or it would cost me a fortune.
In fact she’s a natural bargain-hunter and will talk me out of expensive purchases if she’s spotted something just as nice in Primark or h&M.
having said that, I’ve noticed she’s taken a liking to a few things I’ve bought recently — a rather cool grey jumper mysteriously ended up in her wardrobe after I put it in the wash, and she’s asked if she can ‘borrow’ a pair of jeans for a trip.
She’s also snaffled my Ugg boots to wear with cut- off denim shorts. the galling thing is they look far nicer on her gazellelike legs — but I’m very happy to share.
So what would my trio of burgeoning stylists choose for me to wear if I gave them the chance? I asked them to dress me for the day to find out . . .
SCHOOL RUN
Denim shorts, £19.99, hm.com; pink T-shirt, £6.99, hm.com; pink bag, £149, tedbaker.com; sandals, £35, accessorize.com MARTHA SAYS: Mum doesn’t wear shorts, but I think she should. I love mine. You can do anything you want to, like ride a bike or climb a tree. CHARLOTTE SAYS: this looks uncannily like the clothes Martha has been wearing all summer. She’s even found a toy town bag from ted Baker. But I fear I might be a little old for this — maybe it’s my turn to refuse to get out of the car?
WORK WEAR
Sparkly dress, £58, motelrocks.com; yellow cardigan, £69, monsoon. co.uk; boots, £99, dunelondon.com MARTHA SAYS: Mums should look all sparkly when they go to work, so they don’t feel sad and lonely. the cardigan will keep you warm if it’s windy and remind you of sunny days. CHARLOTTE SAYS: She’s grasped the fact that I prefer to wear black for work, but can’t resist a sparkly twist with a cardigan ‘the colour of sunshine’. the end result is surprisingly flattering.
NIGHT OUT
Helena dress, £65, virgoslounge.com; heels, £37.99, newlook.com; necklace, £40, disneycouture.co.uk MARTHA SAYS: this is what you should wear to a party, Mummy. Not jeans. Why do mums wear jeans? I’m going to wear long dresses when I grow up. You look like a princess. CHARLOTTE SAYS: Strictly Come Dancing beckons! Just in case there weren’t enough sparkles, Martha has added a princess necklace from the Disney shop to a full-length dress in Towie orange. ‘ You look beautiful,’ she declares, as my husband stifles a giggle.
SCHOOL RUN
Navy blouse, £21, cropped trousers, £25, and wedges, £25, marksandspencer.com BEA SAYS: Mum doesn’t even brush her hair in the morning, she’s in such a rush! I hate it when she looks scruffy. It’s really embarrassing, espec i al l y when s he wears leggings — they don’t suit older people, that’s a fact! I think she should wear something smart like this. CHARLOTTE SAYS: OK, I take the hint — no more looking dishevelled for the school run. I must have worn my dog-walking gear one too many times.
WORK WEAR
Print skirt, £21, boots, £35, and top, £45, marksandspencer.com BEA SAYS: Mum wears black all the time but that’s boring and it makes her look old. I chose something colourful and she looks young. CHARLOTTE SAYS: Bea’s cleverly found things from Marks & Spencer I would never have spotted, like this on-trend pleated skirt. She insisted on matching nail polish, too.
NIGHT OUT
Autograph striped dress, £49.50, and wedges, £25, marksandspencer.com; anchor shopping bag, £29.99, zara.com BEA SAYS: I think the stripes make Mum look taller. The bag really goes with the shoes and it’s big enough for all the stuff she carries around. CHARLOTTE SAYS: Bea’s gone for a nautical theme, and I love that she found a bag from Zara with an anchor on it to finish it off. The shoes are the perfect colour to work with this look — and she’s remembered from a recent holiday in Spain that I am a big fan of wedges.
SCHOOL RUN
Yoga leggings, £80, and vest, £60, sweatybetty.com; messenger bag, £22, next.co. uk; trainers, £90, nike.com AMELIA SAYS: If it’s got to be sportswear, make it trendy, Mum. But I’ll confess I’ve got my eye on the trainers — we’re the same shoe size now! CHARLOTTE SAYS: Amelia’s a realist — she knows I often wear tracksuit bottoms on the school run so that I can walk the dog afterwards — so she’s given my tatty gym kit a stylish makeover.
I bet I’ll never get to wear the trainers, though, now we’re the same shoe size.
WORK WEAR
Shirt, £20, scarf, £4, and leatherlook skirt, £8, boohoo.com; jacket, £99.99, zara.com; black lace-up heels, £60, clarks.co.uk
AMELIA SAYS: Mum often plays it safe in trousers, she says she’s too old for shorter skirts, but I think she pulls this off and looks really cool.
CHARLOTTE SAYS: This is really funky, I would never have chosen this skirt, but it’s youthful and fun. And I love the leather jacket.
NIGHT OUT
Striped dress, £18, dorothyperkins.com; plimsolls, £19.99, hm.com AMELIA SAYS: This dress would probably look better with heels, but Mum always complains that her feet hurt after a night out, so I chose plimsolls. CHARLOTTE SAYS: I feel like an extra in a teen movie. This is definitely heading for Amelia’s wardrobe, but I’ll fight her for the plimsolls — they’re so comfy. Pictures: L+ R Hair & make-up: OONAGH CONNOR