AN INSPECTOR CALLS
His mission: To test hotel hospitality to the limit
ANGLERS love Kelso. More to the point, they love the stretch of River Tweed that wraps around this pretty Borders market town. There are various places to stay, but The Roxburghe would regard itself as the pick of the bunch — a handsome baronial pile acquired by the current Duke of Roxburghe’s father in the Sixties.
Fisher folk, golf enthusiasts (the hotel has its own 18-hole course), grouse and pheasant shooters will all feel at home here. There’s even a spa.
What there isn’t is much in the way of atmosphere. It’s all very hushed — and a little flat. When we arrive midweek the welcome is friendly enough but there’s no buzz, though we like the smouldering fire in the hall.
To the left of reception is the bar, a dark and lonely space, out of kilter with the bright and forgiving landscape outside. To the right is what we think must be a brasserie restaurant: small polished tables; laminated woven mats; bare mantelpiece, overlit.
So after settling into our lovely big room (four poster, newly upholstered armchairs, two big sash windows, attractive prints of town and country) we head for the drawing room, which almost makes up for the drab bar and brasserie. There are one or two framed photos of the Duke and Duchess with their family, some portraits and rural landscapes, comfy sofas and chairs. And a fisherman with his eyes shut, a glass of whisky just out of reach.
We’re surprised the cheapest glass of white wine costs £8 and we’re even more surprised when told our table is ready — and are shown into the brasserie that turns out to be the main restaurant. Then we wait far too long for our first courses, filling the gap with bread and butter that neither of us should be eating.
My smoked salmon is measly and the venison main course is trying to be fancy. Here’s the problem, perhaps. The Roxburghe is managed by the ICMI group (Inverlochy Castle, Andy Murray’s Cromlix et al) and the food is overseen by Albert Roux, but I’m not sure anyone apart from the obliging staff really has his or her heart in it.
At breakfast the next morning, we’re back in that same room with its tartan carpet — and it’s a squash. Tables are far too close to each other. And at these prices you would expect a more lavish buffet. But our full Scottish fry-up is generous, albeit the haggis undercooked.
So, all a bit hit and miss. Anglers might say The Roxburghe is one that, somehow, got away.
Roxburghe Hotel & Golf Course,
Heiton by Kelso, Roxburghshire, TD5 8JZ Tel: 01573 450 331, roxburghe-hotel.net
Doubles from £225 B&B