Westminster Noticeboard...

+ LABOUR’S spokesperson on farming, the vegan Kerry McCarthy, says eating meat is murder and consuming dairy is manslaughter.

Reading her drivel makes me want to murder a double cheeseburger. +LEADERSHIP hopeful Theresa May has stepped out in cat-print well ie s wi t h snarling leopards on the sides. Leopards’ jaws are so o powerful they can devour prey much larger than themselves.

A none- too- subtle warning for George Osborne, perhaps. + HOW sad to see that one minute the Lib Dems are praising the late Charles Kennedy (below), the next ridiculing him with a song containing the lyrics: ‘a lovely little l eader but a bugger when he’s pissed.’ Hav Having known him for m many years, I can tes testify that Charles w was cleverer and m more of a gentleman than the lot of t hem put together, even when he was as d drunk as a skunk.

+H+ HAVING led his part party to near extinction,ti NickNi Clegg vows the Liberals will be the ‘comeback kids’ of politics. Its eight MPs are more like Milky Bar kids — male and white, they melt under pressure and are relics of a bygone era.