Do love bites give you cancer? The problem page from a gentler era
At the heart of Jackie magazine were its two agony aunts, Cathy and Claire. In real life, ‘Cathy and Claire’ didn’t exist — but their role was filled by a series of the magazine’s staff writers, who gave sweet and sensitive advice to the hundreds of readers who poured their hearts out to them every week. here is a selection of their words of wisdom. Q I’M VERY depressed. I go to parties and discos and sometimes meet boys, but the trouble comes when they ask for a goodnight kiss. I know it sounds daft, but I don’t know how to kiss a boy. Please help! A WHAT do you want us to say? Number one, put your lips into such and such a shape, number two, place hands round boy’s shoulders . . . well, we aren’t, because there just aren’t sets of rules for it!
It might worry you when you think about it — so, don’t think! Kissing someone’s not really something that’s expected of you, as part and parcel of going out together — at least, it shouldn’t be. If and when you want to kiss someone, you will, and it’ll be natural and enjoyable even if it’s shy and hesitant, as it probably will be, at first! So forget all about hows and whys. When it feels the right thing to do — you’ll do it! Q ALTHOUGH everyone always tells me that I suit being ‘petite’, I’d love to be tall. Since platform shoes have been fashionable, I’ve been really happy as they add a few inches to my height.
The other week Steve, one of the boys at school, asked me out, and as I’d liked him for ages, I said yes. I knew that he wasn’t very tall either, but this didn’t bother me as he was a little bit bigger than me. I never thought about the fact that I’d only seen him when we were in school uniform and I was wearing very low-heeled shoes.
When I met him outside the cinema, we both nearly died of horror, as I was about three inches taller than him! I’ve been out with him a few times since then, but he always walks along a little distance away from me and never moves closer or holds my hand. He’s really nice and I wouldn’t like to finish with him, but it seems to me that we’re getting nowhere at the moment.
A StEVE must like you a lot, love, or he wouldn’t keep asking you out. the reason that he walks apart from you when you’re out is probably because he’s self-conscious about the difference in your height.
If you really like him, then why don’t you invest in a pair of lower shoes? Small, neat platforms are just as fashionable nowadays as large ones, if not more so. after all, it’s in a good cause! Q MY OLDER sister is unmarried and has recently had a baby boy. Our family were naturally shocked at first, but we’ve got over it and accepted the situation. Our friends and neighbours were great, too, and now we all dote on little Jason.
As I live in a small town, the girls in my class have all found out about my sister and they’ve started to be really rotten to me. They shout terrible names about my sister and it’s beginning to get me down. Is there anything I can do? A IGnoRE these girls’ remarks and show them that you will not be upset or riled by their teasing. they’ll get tired of their game in time.
Show them that you’re not ashamed of your family. take the baby out for walks in the pram, if your sister lets you. We’ll bet they melt a bit at the sight of a little baby. Most girls do.
If they don’t though, don’t worry about it. after all, you don’t really want to be friends with such stupid, insensitive people, anyway, do you? Q YOU’VE probably heard this a hundred times before but I’m absolutely crazy about David Cassidy. I’ve felt like this for ages, and, please believe me, it’s NOT just a childish crush.
I’ve reached the stage where I just can’t sleep at night for thinking about him and now even my schoolwork is suffering. I’m not ugly and loads of boys have asked me out, but I’m just not interested. Please help me, how can I meet David? A WE Do receive hundreds of letters just like yours, love, and we understand. But what you feel IS a crush — honestly! Your emotion can’t be described as love because it’s impossible to love someone you don’t actually know.
What you Do know is the image projected by his publicists, and it’s this dream you’ve fallen for. You mustn’t allow it to take over from reality and spoil your chances of having a good relationship with a boy who IS attainable. Q MY PARENTS are going away on holiday in two weeks’ time. This is the first time I’ve been allowed to stay at home myself and I’m really looking forward to it.
I’ve told all my friends and we’re all having a great time planning a party! Unfortunately word has got around and now nearly every knows about it — including a rather wild crowd.
I’m getting a bit worried, but I must have this party — everyone will be mad if I don’t. But my parents would be mad if they found out. A WEll, we’re sorry to put a dampener on your plans, but you really can’t have this party. You know that yourself, don’t you? Your parents would be very hurt and angry if they found out — and quite rightly, too. after all, they’re trusting you so you must act in a responsible way. Parties never turn out very well when you’re feeling guilty and it’s very likely that some mark of the party would be left as evidence. It might only be a cigarette burn or two, but it could be much worse. Q I KNOW you don’t often get letters from boys, but I’m sure you could help me with my problem. I don’t seem to be able to keep a girlfriend for more than a couple of weeks. I’m 17, very good-looking and always wear trendy gear, so my appearance can’t be the reason. Some of my mates, who don’t care how they look, have gorgeous girlfriends who are madly in love with them and I just can’t understand it.
There’s one girl I know fancies me but she’s not very pretty or trendy and I don’t really think she’s good enough for me. I’m sure my mates would laugh at me if I went out with her. A THERE’S obviously nothing wrong with your looks — but there’s definitely something wrong with your attitude! You’re so selfish and self-centred.
What girl wants a boyfriend who’s so busy looking in the mirror he doesn’t have a spare moment for her? You should be glad that there’s at least one girl who’s so blind to your faults, she actually wants to go out with you.
So wake up to the fact that you’re not every girl’s dream-boy, develop an interest in other people and maybe then you’ll discover that a girlfriend is not so hard to come by as you imagine. Q I’VE BEEN really worried since my friends told me that lovebites can cause cancer of the neck. Is there any way I can prevent this happening to me as I’m too frightened and embarrassed to go to my doctor? A It’S about time this, and all the other old wives’ tales, were cleared up! lovebites do not cause cancer, or any other diseases. they are no more than harmless bruises. But they are unsightly and certainly don’t enhance the beauty of a graceful neck! In addition, your parents are quite likely to object to them. It’s probably best on all counts to try to avoid them.
50 Years Of Jackie: The Best Thing For Girls — Next To Boys is published by Carlton Books, priced £19.99. To buy a copy for £15.99, visit mailbookshop.co.uk or call 0808 272 0808. Offer until November 21, p&p is free on orders over £12.