Ephraim Hardcastle

DAVID Cameron’s determination to show how much he loves India could put him on a collision course with the Queen. His decision to send William and Kate on an official visit there next spring – announced during PM Narendra Modi’s visit – worries courtiers. Such frontline royal visits are usually carefully rationed and India received an extended tour from Charles and Camilla as recently as 2013. REPLACED on Radio 4’s Today show yesterday by Nick Robinson, James Naughtie popped up from Paris with his ‘take’ on the terrorist killings. After 21 years, loquacious Jim, 64, is just getting into his stride! RE the Cambridges, they had been expected to visit the Caribbean in the spring. At least three islands, including the Bahamas, were making plans for them. Nine of the 16 realms in which the Queen reigns are in the Caribbean. At least two – Barbados and Jamaica – might soon become republics. A visit by William and Kate, ideally with their children, could shore up the royal reputation. The Queen does not want to forfeit another throne. She’s lost 16 since 1952. BROADCASTING from Paris, Sky News’s attractive Kay Burley tweets this photo of a golden retriever, saying: ‘Sadness in his eyes @paris attacks.’ Result: a Twitterstorm of mostly unprintable reactions. One of the milder ones features a horse, its chin resting on a wall, with the message: ‘This horse is still in shock.’ SIR Terry Wogan, who had to withdraw for health reasons from the BBC’s Children in Need show, congratulates his replacement, Dermot O’Leary, marvelling that his fellow Irishman raised £5million more than the £32.6million he attracted in 2014. Says Sir Terry: ‘What a blinding result! Just shows you, nobody’s indispensable. That little Irish fella’s got a future.’ STREATHAM brothel keeper Cynthia Payne, pictured in her prime, who has died aged 82, famously promised her clients, who included MPs, policemen and peers, ‘the run of the house and a threecourse dinner, with wine, for £25.’ Then Tory MP for Kensington South, Sir Brandon Rhys-Williams, on hearing this from a colleague, commented: ‘The wine can’t be up to much.’ Ms Payne later unsuccessfully stood for Parliament for the Rainbow Alliance Payne and Pleasure Party – in Rhys Williams’ constituency, as it happens. A PATEK Philippe watch worth about £600,000 once owned by Haile Selassie has been withdrawn by court order from a Christie’s auction in Switzerland. It’s claimed the timepiece was stolen when the former Ethiopian emperor was deposed in a 1974 military coup. Haile Selassie is still regarded as a living God by Rastafarians, who believe he’ll lead a future golden age of eternal peace, righteousness and prosperity. I remember the late MP and editor Lord Deedes unwittingly causing uproar in a rasta bar in Kingston, Jamaica by claiming he’d attended Haile Selassie’s funeral.