Ephraim Hardcastle
HAVE fun testing yourself with the Who Said That? quiz, based on quotes from my 2015 columns. Answers are at the bottom.
1) ‘Why does every actress who goes to Hollywood come back with capped teeth? It’s like having big white tombstones in your mouth.’ a) Benedict Cumberbatch b) Julia Bradbury of Countryfile c) Dame Helen Mirren?
2) ‘Never a cross word... yeah, right!’ (said sarcastically on a wedding anniversary). a) Dame Joan Collins b) John Cleese c) Sir Elton John?
3) ‘I’d love to learn to dance, just not (on Strictly Come Dancing) in front of 16million people.’ a) John Torode b) The Duke of Edinburgh c) Angela Eagle MP?
4) ‘I think plastic surgery is dangerous and makes people look a bit silly. There’s nothing wrong with a handsome woman with a few lines on her face.’ a) Sir Mick Jagger b) John Prescott c) Jerry Hall?
5) Explaining the lyrics of his biggest hit ‘would be like T.S. Eliot trying to tell what The Waste Land means,’ said this warbler. a) Sir Paul McCartney b) Don McLean c) Sir Cliff Richard?
6) ‘I read two newspapers a day and I ache. I think about polar bears and elephants and gorillas and I cry.’ a) Jeremy Clarkson b) Jane Fonda c) Tyson Fury?
7) ‘My body tells me if what I do is worth it, and it asked to stop.’ a) Gisele Bundchen, pictured b) Kate Moss c) Dame Maggie Smith?
8) ‘I’m very anti-David Cameron. He stands for privilege, for the continuation and acceleration between the extremely rich and extremely poor.’ a) Jeremy Corbyn b) Brian May c) Vladimir Putin?
9) When her son ‘came out’ it was not a surprise, she said, adding: ‘I probably had known from the time he asked Santa Claus for a vacuum cleaner.’ a) Sir Elton John’s mother Sheila b) Former Irish president Mary McAleese c) Graham Norton’s mum Rhoda?
10) ‘Some women want bigger boobies, others want prettier faces. All I wanted was a new back.’ a) Madame Claude b) Barbara Windsor c) Britt Ekland?
11) ‘I met Will Smith in public and gave him a great big kiss on the lips.’ a) Claudia Winkleman b) Kate Winslet c) Sir Ian McKellen?
12) ‘Tinkety tonk old fruit and down with the Nazis.’ a) Winston Churchill b) Kenneth Williams c) The Queen Mother?
13) ‘I’m now the perfect amount of famous – enough to get a dinner reservation but not enough to get hassled.’ a) Sophia Loren b) Cindy Crawford c) Nigella Lawson?
14) ‘When Paul became a Thatcherite/ His hair became a mop of white/ But what I see when he’s in bed/ His pubic hair still flaming red.’ a) Mrs Paul Simon b) Mrs Paul McCartney c) Mrs Paul Johnson?
15) ‘I’m a man and I will kick anybody’s ass who tries to tell me that I’m not one because my hair’s thinning.’ a) Prince William b) David Cameron c) Bruce Willis?
16) ‘Put a mirror on the floor and straddle it. Now look down. Yep. That’s the view.’ a) Catherine Zeta-Jones b) Theresa May MP c) India Knight?
17) ‘I am swooning and drooling with pleasure.’ a) Donald Trump b) Camila Batmanghelidjh c) Stephen Fry?
ANSWERS: 1)b. 2) a. 3) a. 4) c. 5) b. 6) b. 7) a. 8) b. 9) b. 10) c. 11) c. 12) c. 13) b. 14) c. 15) c. 16) c. 17) c.