Harrumphing and fighting sheep, Griff’s angrier than Basil Fawlty

Griff rhys Jones, the travel guide with the short fuse of a true Victorian explorer, is really hitting his stride. Words like ‘testy’, ‘irritable’ and ‘curmudgeon’ were invented for him, which is what makes Griff’s Great Britain (iTV) such fun. in his early documentaries, the former comedian, who made his name with not The nine o’Clock news, tried not to let on when some trifling nuisance was trying his patience.

But the success last year of his epic, five-part odyssey through Africa by train, in conditions often so trying that even Mother Teresa would have got huffy, seems to have freed his inner grouch. now when something is ruining his day, he doesn’t hold back.

he was gloriously dismissive of the Long Man of Wilmington, a prehistoric figure carved into the chalk of the south Downs in east sussex, because this immense stick-man, visible from miles away, vanishes when visitors get up close.

some might say that’s part of the Long Man’s magic, but Griff wasn’t i mpressed and he refused to pretend. he poked around in the grass, muttering ‘ harrumph’ and ‘pah’ and ‘tish’, until at last he found a fragment of the outline. This made him even more cross — the council had shored up the chalk with breeze blocks and whitewash.

Then he went for a flight over the Downs, dangling from a paraglider with a pilot who made the mistake of checking too carefully that all Griff ’s safety buckles were properly fastened. ‘ Are you ready?’ asked this health- and- safety stickler. Griff ’s retort was so fierce, it nearly took the poor chap’s head off. ‘yes! i’m ready!’ he shouted, with all the bite of Basil fawlty at the end of his tether.

Perhaps because they know what their presenter will be like if allowed to get bored, the producers kept him busy. he went Morris dancing, rode on a Mod scooter and tried his hand at a game called stoolball, a forerunner of cricket invented by milkmaids 600 years ago.

each week he is set a task and the first was to catch a sheep. Griff was straight off the leash and bounding across the fields. The flock scattered and Griff went in all directions, practically baying at the poor animals — a 62-year- old TV personality, worrying sheep. he was lucky not to have been shot by the farmer.

At last, a shepherd showed up, to demonstrate how to up- end a woollyback with a traditional crook. There were three stages: catch, lift, roll. Griff didn’t have the patience to do all three, so he just hooked his sheep and flipped it straight over into a half-nelson.

The sheep protested. Griff made a sort of humming noise, like a fuse about to blow. Plainer than words, it said that here was a man who wasn’t in the mood for backchat from a farm animal.

Michael Portillo was much more amiable on Great British Railways (BBC2), but unlike Griff his heart wasn’t in it.

he had his treasured copy of Bradshaw’s handbook, he was nattily attired in pink shirt and trousers with a pinstripe jacket, but the joie de vivre seemed lacking. Little wonder. This series, showing every evening this week, takes him through the heartlands of the industrial revolution, starting in Carlisle — birthplace of automated biscuit production, we were told — and rattling though the mill towns and potteries of Lancashire and staffordshire.

it’s fine english heritage, but it isn’t Michael’s natural habitat. he’s happiest on the Continent, steaming from grand hotel to splendid restaurant, while sipping local wines and gazing contentedly at a sun-drenched landscape.

instead, he was trekking up a wet hillside in the rain to see a slate mine, or sharing his tin of custard creams with families in second- class. Drizzle ran down the train windows. even the spotted handkerchief i n his breast pocket wilted.

for his challenge, he had to walk a rope bridge across a valley. After a short distance, in what did look like terrifying head winds, Michael decided he had seen quite enough. he was terribly urbane about it, of course. Perhaps he should try getting cross occasionally. Go on, Michael — have a bit of a Griff!