This England Anagram

SPOTTED in the classified adverts of a Kent newspaper under the heading ‘Household Misc’: ‘Coffin. 6 foot coffin in beech wood. Unused with lid. very good condition. £175 o.n.o.’

Terry Caldon, Alkham, Kent.

An anagram of Downtown by Petula Clark

DOWNTON — THE FINALE

A Eulogy by The Craggy Maggie and Arrogant Mary Fan Club

Now it’s all over, Downton Abbey has ended Everyone feels down, downcast. What’ll we do to cure our yearning now it has gone Away for good? Don’t ask. Yes, Poldark is returning, but he’s really not the same, it’s Writer Julian Fellowes he’s the fellow that I blame, he’s Really unkind. The nights will seem longer now, I’ll sit alone by the telly, a frown on my brow, Without Downton Things won’t be great without Downton, No nicer show for sure, Downton, Our future is grey without you. I could arrange to purchase every episode On DVD, right now, But, gee, when it’s reruns you know you’ve seen before it’s Not the same somehow (less ‘wow’). I yearn to know the future of each character I’ve followed, If I can’t get closure now it will seem really hollow, Hollow and grey. The nights will seem longer now, I’ll sit forlorn by the telly, a frown on my brow, Without Downton Things won’t be great without Downton, No nicer show for sure, Downton There’s just no joy without you, Downton Downton Downton What happens to the Crawleys and to poor young Lady Edith? Can she end up happy now she’s found a guy to be with, To guide her along? Though, surely we need to know, Even arrogant Mary, will her new marriage grow? Come back, Downton And craggy Maggie Smith, Downton You’re truly too great to miss, Downton, Gonna be glum without you, Downton Downton You’re gone Downton You’re gone Downton

Tony Crafter, Sevenoaks, Kent.