Payback time for a right Scrooge ...

Twas busy at the Pearly Gates with people milling round St Peter and his Domesday Book in which all deeds are found, And one by one he checked them through to see what they had done, Had they lived their lives for others or all for number ONE? At length a fellow came to him, (he seemed a proper Scrooge) And St Peter looked impatient ’cos the line was growing huge. ‘Alright old son, why should I let you enter Heaven’s Gate? ‘Have you earned your place in Paradise or some more dreadful fate?’ The fellow looked uncomfortable as surely well he might For he’d earned a reputation as a miser, mean and tight. ‘What joy’ve you brought to others? Have you done some noble deeds? What flowers of peace and harmony have blossomed from your seeds?’ A sullen stony silence was all reply he got For those awkward curly questions really put him on the spot. But then came inspiration and he answered in a flash, ‘I once coughed up a dollar for the poor from petty cash.’ ‘Yes, yes,’ he cried, ‘I remember now, it’ll be there in your book. ‘So kindly open up them gates and let me take a look. ‘Let’s have no hesitation for to enter is my right ‘I can see those angels waiting there to dress me all in white.’ Now St Peter is a kindly soul lets in more than he shuts out, But he couldn’t help but entertain the slightest twinge of doubt. So to get a second viewpoint he called back to his mate, The mighty angel Gabriel waiting just inside the gate. ‘This fellow wants to enter and he says he’s paid a dollar And reckons that entitles him, what d’you think, does it foller?’ Ol’ Gabriel didn’t have to think, he simply called back: ‘Well, just let him have his dollar back and tell him go to Hell!’

David H. Lewis, Caerphilly.