Is it just ME?

Or are shop staff who pretend to be your friend just irritating?

THE other day, I popped into my local supermarket to buy some over-priced blueberries and a plain yoghurt.

I was distracted, and slightly disgruntled — like so many stores, Waitrose has replaced half its cashiers with selfservice stations. I’ve never understood why shoppers don’t get a discount if we ring up our own purchases and pack them. Aren’t we saving them wages if we do the job of a shop assistant?

After inching my way up a queue with other self-service refuseniks, I reached the front — and a real person sitting behind a till.

This smiley cashier rang up my items, but seemed determined to become my New Best Friend. ‘How has your day been so far?’ she inquired.

Actually, my day had been rubbish. A delivery hadn’t turned up, I had a bit of a hangover, and was hoping no one would spot me out in my washed-out tracksuit bottoms and ancient trainers. The next time I visited, I got the same script from a different person. Now, in every big supermarket, it’s the same.

In the price war between food chains, staff have been told to be super-chatty in the hope it will buy our loyalty.

Once, we just said hello as we paid, and smiled. Now, you’re expected to bond over the loo rolls. I have no problem with genuine friendliness, but fauxconcern about my day from someone I’ve never met just seems like another American habit we’re adopting.

The other day, a check-out girl told me I looked tired — I nearly whacked her with my cauliflower.

I feel sorry for cashiers (my sister used to be one) — they have to endure the constant chant of a recorded voice intoning ‘cashier number 6, please’. They have to process a minimum number of items per minute. And now, the final insult, they have to pretend to be interested in me.

Whatever cashiers are paid, they deserve more!

‘Once a quick hello was enough. Now you’re expected to bond over the loo roll’