The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Sarah Beeny

Sarah Beeny, 44, is a property developer and television presenter best known for Property Ladder. She lives with her husband, Graham, and their four boys, Billy, ten, Charlie, eight, rafferty, six, and Laurie, four. The family split their time between homes in London and yorkshire.

Stepmothers don’t have to be wicked

I was ten years old when my mother died from breast cancer. You don’t understand death when you’re little. adults can comprehend what the loss means — they grieve short and hard — whereas children seem fine initially, but months or years later ask: ‘what? when you said for ever you really meant for ever?’ In this country, the tragedy about mortality is that we don’t celebrate life enough, yet we’re obsessed by death. I can count on one hand those who asked me what my mother was like when she was alive. Everyone else seemed more interested in her death. Isn’t that weird? My brother and I were lucky as we still had Dad, who is a great, great man. after Mum died, everything he did felt effortless. I’m sure it wasn’t. He was on his own with two small children, but he did a brilliant job. we could talk to him about anything and he tried his very hardest (and still does). and then, a couple of years later, he met my stepmother, Patricia. I think there are two elements to getting on with a new parent figure. You have to

want to get on and also decide that you’re going to get on. For me, seeing Dad really happy with someone he adored and who adored him was wonderful. It truly meant everything. Patricia was a lot older than Dad. she’d already had four children, yet she happily took on my brother and me. The result was a slightly feral home life, but she was very loving, patient and tremendous fun. as a matriarch, she was great at keeping everyone together. she taught me that women are the glue in family life. Four years ago, Patricia died aged 86. I was sad, but she was old and it’s very different to someone dying when they’re young. I can honestly say I wouldn’t use the word ‘tragic’ when someone dies at such an age after living a happy and fulfilled life. I think the word ‘cool’ is more appropriate. Because what else do you want? I’ve now got a new stepmother, Jane, who is lovely, gorgeous and kind. My Dad is like a cat with the cream. It’s so lovely to see. I couldn’t possibly have wished for a better person at this time. The way I look at it is I’ve had three Mums and I’ve learned from and loved them all. I consider myself lucky.