MY LIGHT BULB MOMENT
Fertility guru Zita West
MIDWIFE Zita West, 59, runs one of the UK’s largest natural fertility clinics. She lives in the Cotswolds with husband Rob, an architect. They have two children.
GOODNESS knows, I was in need of a night out. But having left my toddler and baby in Rob’s care, and driving over to a friend’s — a fellow mum who was hosting a girls’ night — I was unable to get out of the car.
Instead, I just sat in the layby opposite for 90 minutes, too exhausted to face the other mums, who all seemed to cope so much better than me — and too ashamed to drive home and tell Rob that I couldn’t do it. Going back to my job as a midwife when my toddler was three and my baby was six months old had left me exhausted. I was drained and lost a great deal of weight, which meant I struggled to breastfeed.
Giving up when my son was only threeand-a-half weeks old further compounded the feelings of failure.
It didn’t help that he wouldn’t sleep — and I became obsessed with it. I’d grill other mothers, but nobody seemed to have a problem except me. Now, I realise people don’t like to confess when everything isn’t perfect. Just because they say they are coping doesn’t mean they are. But at the time, I felt totally inadequate.
That night in the layby was my turning point. I went to my GP, who diagnosed mild post-natal depression and prescribed medication. I was determined not to take the drugs, though, so I tried to recover in other ways — including homeopathic remedies, which just left me poorer. (I nearly collapsed when given a bill for £350.)
Thankfully, I soon discovered acupuncture and felt better within six weeks. Once fully recovered, I trained in acupuncture myself. From this grew my interest in looking at pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood in a much broader, woman-centred way.
This is the philosophy behind the Zita West Clinic, which helps hundreds of women a year with fertility issues. We use a unique blend of holistic therapies, including acupuncture, with the latest IVF technologies.
So, the lowest point of my life was the making of me and my career.
Thinking of the struggle to breastfeed my son still makes me tearful, even though he’s now 26. But I draw strength from what I went through. And what I learned from it.