Are you taking in a migrant, Yvette? Yeah, but, no, but . . .

RIGHt from the start of the migration crisis, Labour’s Pixie Balls-Cooper has been trying to shame us into taking more so-called ‘refugees’. As part of her campaign of moral blackmail, she announced haughtily that she would be setting an example to the nation by welcoming a Syrian family into one of her own two beautiful homes.

Regular readers will recall that this column has spent several months without success trying to establish when, precisely, that act of human kindness will happen.

Yesterday, Pixie (aka Yvette Cooper) turned up on the excellent Nick Ferrari breakfast show on LBC radio, claiming there weren’t enough female voices in the Eu referendum debate.

She went on to claim that the migration problem would only get worse if Britain votes Leave, and said we must all ‘do our bit’ to help. Ferrari couldn’t resist asking her if she had given a home to any refugees, as she promised. Her reply, over several minutes, was a masterclass in political evasion.

Pixie came over all Vicky Pollard, from Little Britain, reduced to ‘yeah, but, no, but . . .’ blustering. Ferrari would have got more sense out of Bill And Ben, the Flowerpot Men. this was flob-a- dob at its finest. Working on the Give ’Em Enough Rope principle, Ferrari simply sat back and let Pixie hang herself. Apparently, it’s all the fault of the tories.

the whole interview is priceless and deserves a wider audience. Are you sitting comfortably? then I’ll begin . . .

FERRARI: Have you taken your refugee in yet?

PIXIE: We should be offering sanctuary, I don’t think this is about, I’ve said from the start, people need homes . . .

Yes, but have you taken yours in yet?

But if you listen to what the Government said, they said no they don’t want people to take them into their homes, what they want is to be able to provide proper homes for the small number of Syrian refugees that come over. Where I do think you do need help . . . Have you taken yours yet, Yvette? No, and that’s what I said, the Government has said . . .

So you haven’t taken yours because the Government has said . . ?

the Government’s said that’s not what we’re looking for, because what they’re looking for is proper homes for people and, you know, people should have the dignity of their own homes . . .

So because David Cameron says not to do it, you’re not doing it?

Yeah, but, look, the Government, you’ve got to provide proper support when they come and what’s the proper support people need? And they need, you know, if they’re a family they’ll need housing of their own. If they’re a child, they’ll need proper foster support, if you wanna be a fosterer you’ve gotta go through

proper training and support through your local council, you can’t just take any family. So look, if that’s what the Government say is what’s needed and that’s what people think is needed . . .

So you won’t be making a room available now?

then, of course, but at the moment the Government is saying that is not what you need to provide sanctuary. But, you know, the bigger problem at the moment we’re actually not providing any sanctuary at all, we’ve got j ust 4,000 Syrian refugees coming here a year, there’s 4,000 a day arriving in Greece and you’ve got child refugees who are, you know, alone in Europe and, 10,000 of them dis . . .

So can one of them have your room?

they, you’ve got to have proper fostering, haven’t you? You’ve got to have proper fosterers and I’ll be honest, I’ve not had proper support and training from local councils to be a proper fosterer and I think that’s not summink you play games with . . . because what we did with the Kindertransport, you remember, the Kindertransport before the Second World War . . .

Before and during . . .

Alf Dubs [former Labour MP] who himself came over to Britain on the

Kindertransport, he was rescued from the Nazis . . . and he’s now in the House of Lords and he said, look, Britain can take 3,000 lone child refugees from Europe and most of them are from Syria and we know they’ve fled terrible conflict and persecution, then we should do our bit, but in order to do that and I think we should support Alf in that request because this i s about children and we don’t want them disappearing into prostitution and into violence and into abuse . . .

By now, Ferrari had dissolved into one of his infectious, trademark giggles and realised he had no chance of getting a sensible answer out of her. But he has done us a huge service.

Let’s try to get this right, then. Pixie would like to welcome a refugee family into one of her two beautiful homes, but the wicked tories won’t let her and, anyway, she hasn’t had proper foster training and support from her local council. Plus, something about Alf Dubs. this is a woman who put herself forward as leader of the Labour Party last summer and is currently Shadow Home Secretary — someone who resorts to emotional grandstanding, makes promises she has no intention of keeping, is incapable of answering a straight question and blames everyone but herself.

So, again, will she be taking in a refugee family? Yeah, but, no, but . . . We’ll take that as a No, then.