Help! My husband is turning into his father
The same corny jokes. The same irritating habits. Even the same dodgy taste in clothes. Never mind women who morph into their mothers...
Over time it’s got worse. When I mentioned it to Janet, she sighed and said John was exactly the same and there’s no point fighting it. She said you just have to let them do it — it’s their way of coping.’
Janet has also given Alex tips on how to handle Russell over another flashpoint he shares with his dad — DIY.
‘You’d think with the job they do that our houses would be perfect, but no. They’ll start things and never finish them.
‘This increasingly exasperated me, until I mentioned it to Janet and she said John was the same. Which I suppose I should have known — but it also means my hopes that Russell will change are probably out the window.’
The protective side of his father is something else that Russell is increasingly adopting.
‘If you take something out of the oven and they deem it too heavy for you — say, a roast or similar — they’ll push you aside and do it. It used to annoy me because I am perfectly capable of lifting a roasting tray out of the oven.’
But it was Janet, after witnessing her son’s behaviour, who pulled Alex aside and advised that she let it go. ‘Janet pointed out that John and Russell share a need to look after their family, so why not just enjoy it. And she’s right.’
It’s the same when it comes to crossing the road. ‘When I first met Russell, John used to take my hand to cross the road. I remember thinking, “What are you doing? I’m 28 years old!”.
‘But that’s just him — he likes to take care of everybody. And — surprise surprise — Russell does that now, too. All the children have to hold his hand — even our 16year- old daughter, and you can imagine how well that goes down.’
Alex is slightly less keen on her husband’s Basil Fawlty- style meltdowns over faulty household appliances.
‘If something breaks, like the washing machine, both Russell and John will be swearing away and hitting it,’ she says.
‘Russell has done this since I met him, but it was only a few years ago he realised he was probably only doing it because that’s what his dad has always done. It was the moment I think that he finally recognised that he was becoming like his father.
‘Initially, he tried to stop himself — I think we all have that moment when we realise we are behaving like our parents — but as time has gone on he’s just given in to it.’
Indeed, Alex knows that she can do little to prevent her husband becoming ever more like her adored father-in-law.
She knows to make their tea the same way (strong and black) and that whenever either of them sneezes it will be loud, dramatic and enough to make everyone in the room jump out of their skins.
She enjoys teasing her husband over the many ways he’s turned into his dad.
‘I used to call him ‘John’ and he’d glare at me, but now he just smiles,’ she says. ‘As he’s getting older he minds even less that they are two peas in a pod.’
When it comes to Alex she’ll just have to accept that the sneezes will get louder, the jokes will get cornier — and those holidays won’t become any less stressful.