My man keeps texting a Page 3 girl, what can I do?

We draft a letter from Tess Daly to a top agony aunt

QI AM a beautiful, highly successful former model and TV presenter. For nearly 13 years, I’ve been married to my husband Vernon, also a former model and (slightly less successful) TV presenter. We live in a fabulous house in Buckinghamshire and have two gorgeous daughters aged six and 11. I thought we had the perfect life and then, six years ago, I discovered Vernon had been sending sexually explicit messages to five women, including Rhian Sugden, a busty glamour model, 17 years my junior.

The contact with her started when our youngest daughter was just eight months old and, though the messages were graphic, there was never any physical contact between them.

Vernon sobbed like a baby when confronted with the evidence, admitted the whole thing and was hugely remorseful and desperate for us to work things out. It was horribly humiliating for me, but I decided to forgive him and move on from what I hoped was a one-off blip.

So, you can imagine how devastated I was to learn yesterday that he’s been back in touch with Rhian. Vernon says she made the first move in December and he replied because he wanted to get ‘answers to questions I’ve had since 2010’.

Well, he must have had a lot of questions because he’s sent her hundreds of text messages since! He even suggested they met in secret — though, thankfully, they never did.

My parents had such a long and happy marriage and I always assumed ours — which I have done my best to live out of the glare of the media spotlight — would be the same. What should I do? Can I ever trust him again?

ATO WAKE up and find you’ve been married to an idiot for 13 years must be a terrible feeling. And not only an idiot, but a selfish, unthinking idiot, who is quite happy to put meaningless thrill-seeking — which I’m sure is what his latest behaviour amounts to — before his marriage and two innocent children.

To paraphrase Lady Bracknell: ‘To be caught sexting someone other than your wife once, Mr Kay, is a misfortune, but to be caught twice is unforgiveable.’

Your husband is a celebrity. While an ordinary man might have been able to get away with sleazy sexual titillation on the sly, surely a 41-year- old TV presenter and DJ must have known he’d be found out when he started sexting 29year- old Page Three girl Rhian Sugden for the second time during your marriage?

Wasn’t he practically asking for exposure? Does he really value your marriage and the emotional health of your daughters — Phoebe, 11, and Amber, six — so lightly that he feels he can risk throwing it all away?

Or was he putting into practice a useful tip he recently gave readers of a magazine about his seemingly successful marriage: ‘It’s important to pluck at the heartstrings every now and again and spring something out of the blue.’ But not this blue, surely. If this were the first time it had happened, I’d advise you to sit down and discuss it. I might even recommend Relate counselling.

Perhaps there’s a psychological reason — a deep-seated need for attention that drives him to this behaviour. Perhaps he f eels emasculated by being the only bloke in a family of three females.

It’s certainly true that since the last time you caught him at it, your career has taken off in a big way, leaving him resembling a slightly podgy Alan Partridge. Indeed, your husband, who boasted that John Travolta once told him that he resembled the Hollywood star when he was 19, was recently reduced to promoting Beefeater restaurants.

You, on the other hand, have stepped into and mastered the limelight, co-hosting Strictly Come Dancing for 11 years, first with Sir Bruce Forsyth and now defying the critics with an all-female partnership with Claudia Winkleman.

With reputed earnings of £600,000 a year, at 46 years old your profile has never been higher. No wonder you are looking more successful, seductive and glamorous by the minute.

Small wonder, too, that Vernon’s ego needs a bit of boosting, to such an extent that rather than draw a line under his past indiscretions, he’s trying to resurrect them.

As he washes up and takes the children riding while you’re off filming, perhaps he feels a need to prove his masculinity. Perhaps he’s having another mid-life crisis and pining for a lost youth.

After all, only the other day he was quoted in an interview for Woman magazine, saying: ‘It’s good to stay fit and keep up with the 20year- olds. Having a young mind means you have a young body.

‘I’m 41, but feel like I’m 19. I love going clubbing. It makes me laugh when people send tweets saying: “I can’t believe Vernon Kay was in a club.” But what’s wrong with that?’

While he certainly enjoys the fame that celebrity brings, he shows little evidence of growing in maturity.

As he said in the same interview: ‘People think I’m always working on TV shows like Family Fortunes — but I’m not. We film those shows in blocks, and you do get bored if you aren’t doing anything.’

As Vernon seems to epitomise, the devil makes work for idle hands.

But you heard all the explanations and apologies when he was caught red-handed sending explicit text messages to five women six years ago. You’ve listened to all the promises and re-iterated commitments. At your lowest point you told friends, ‘the trust is gone’, but you were kind and understanding enough to forgive him. Now, it seems, you’ve discovered it was all meaningless.

Or was it? This time he’s claiming all he wanted to do was to discover how the news of the last texting incident was leaked. Despite begging Ms Sugden to keep everything secret because ‘he couldn’t afford to get caught together again’, he’s even suggesting you knew all about the messages — but only you know if he’s telling the truth or not.

So, what line of action to take this time? I suggest you change your tactics. No discussions. No listening to his excuses. Just show him the door. Bung a few shirts and his toothbrush and toothpaste into a suitcase and leave them in the drive of your Buckingshamshire home.

Tell him he’s not welcome there any more. Give him the fright of his life. At least for the short-term. Long-term, though, is a different matter. If you’ve been reasonably happy during the past few years, I’d certainly consider sticking with him if you can, if for no other reason than the sake of your two girls, who are young enough to feel real pain if you went through with a divorce.

But don’t tell Vernon you’ve got any plans to let him return. In six months, if he’s shown by his actions that he is truly remorseful, give him another chance at least to return