Ephraim Hardcastle
OFFERING his Portuguese winery for £7.5million, Sir Cliff Richard proved prickly when the quality of its produce was once questioned. Appearing on Gordon Ramsay’s Channel 4 TV series The F-Word in 2006, he took part in a blindtasting test with the ill-mannered celebrity chef. After sipping an unnamed offering, Sir Cliff announced: ‘That’s rubbish. I wouldn’t pay for that. It’s tainted, it’s insipid, it tastes like vinaigrette. I’d never buy that.’ A gloating Ramsay, 49, told him: ‘Cliff, that was your wine!’ He says Sir Cliff lowered his head (and, no doubt, his voice) and responded: ‘Young man, go f*** yourself.’ LADY Thatcher’s biographer, Charles Moore, reveals in The Spectator how he was able recently to announce that the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Justin Welby, was illegitimate. DNA evidence proving this remained on the ivory-backed hairbrushes of Welby’s real father, the late Churchill secretary Sir Anthony Montague Browne. Moore says: ‘His widow, Shelagh, tells me he was most possessive of these hairbrushes and refused to let her wash them. He may have feared that washing would have made the bristles part from the ivory. But it was this decision that incriminated him.’ Incriminated, Sherlock? A bit harsh, surely. Incidentally, imagine the uproar if a popular newspaper had exposed the archbishop’s sad family secret. APROPOS newshound Moore, he complains: ‘For some reason, possibly homophobic, the media just now is refusing to give any coverage to David Furnish, the spouse of Sir Elton John.’ He suggests editors are trying to suppress Furnish’s claim that, as the spouse of a titled man, he deserves a title. ACTOR Matt Smith, pictured, who plays a young Prince Philip in Netflix’s upcoming entertainment The Crown, says it’s ‘a really rich love story’ about a princess ‘put under great pressure to become Queen so early and so unexpectedly’. Does gushing Smith fancy a gong? Apart from the likely vulgarity of The Crown, there’s another obstacle to his early elevation. He’s a former Doctor Who. Sir John Hurt is the only occupant of the Tardis ever to have received an honour. AFTER Labour sacked all but 92 of the hereditary peers in 1999, the Earl of Snowdon, now 86 and ailing, was offered, and accepted, a life peerage and kept his seat. While his son, Viscount Linley, 54, will inherit Snowdon’s earldom, he’d have to be elected in a Lords by-election when one of the 92 dies, or retires. Perhaps he deserves a life peerage for exporting the high-quality modern furniture that last year achieved a £13million turnover. ACTOR Sir Ben Kingsley, 72, responds to showbiz talk that he insists on being referred to as ‘Sir Ben’ on film sets, explaining: ‘It’s either Ben or Sir Ben, whatever you like. When I go for lunch with my fellow knights, it’s all first names.’ Such humility!