JONATHAN CAINER

Dear Jonathan, I responded to an advert offering a free reading. The report I got back seemed accurate enough, but it mentioned that I had a curse of the evil eye on me. It had been cast when I was born, by someone who was jealous of my parents. Can this be true? Trudy Dear Trudy, Look at your reading again. It will contain, somewhere, a chance for you to pay for some special ceremony or talisman that will ‘protect’ you from the curse. This, I am sorry to say, is an age-old, nasty (and entirely empty) trick.

ARIES Mar 21—Apr 20 NEVER underestimate the power of the mind. Never assume something is impossible just because someone says so. Never forget that what really matters most is the extent to which you are willing to believe in yourself. Even options that sound hopelessly far-fetched to those with expertise can be attainable by those with enough enthusiasm to override conventional wisdom. In a week that brings sudden opportunity via an alignment from the Sun to Mars, you may yet see that proven. Confused? I’ve recorded four minutes of news that will change how you feel. Call 0906 751 5601 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

TAURUS Apr 21 — May 21 WE ALL have fears, we all have hopes. We are well advised to keep these in separate psychological compartments so they don’t taint each other as, for example, ice cream taints curry when mixed together. Maybe not the best example because, while incompatible, both foods are worthy in their own right. Hope has far more merit than fear. We do, though, need just a little fear at times to keep us away from trouble. Keep a sense of proportion and don’t blur boundaries as you reach a new deal this week. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. For the key to your future call 0906 751 5602 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

GEMINI May 22 — June 22 CYCLISTS enjoy riding their bikes. They gain such satisfaction from the action. It is as if they become one with their machine. They pass the power from their feet to the pedals. They steer as they balance using their whole body. They don’t, though, always look quite as elegant to the outside observer. To know what riding feels like, you’ve got to do it, not just watch it. Be aware, this week, of a process that means one thing to a person who is actually engaged in it, another to an observer. Worried? Just four minutes on the phone will help. There’s an important message for you. Call 0906 751 5603 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

CANCER June 23 — July 23 LIFE IS magical. Existence is precious. Experience is so sweet. Or, at least, that’s how it seems until things don’t go to plan. Then life begins to seem mundane. Existence feels more of a punishment than a reward. A feeling turns into a thing we wish we could change for some other feeling. The way to fix all th ose symptoms, should they ever occur , is to

resist the urge to focus on what’s wrong and to look only at what could be so right, if only enough effort were made. You can do that this week. Confused? I’ve recorded four minutes of news that will change how you feel. Call 0906 751 5604 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

LEO July 24 — Aug 23 DO YOU know what’s going to happen this week? If you do, why are you bothering to read this? And, if you say you don’t, well, how sure of that are you? Might it be, perhaps, that you have a pretty shrewd idea of what’s in store, but would either like comforting confirmation or to hear a reassuring suggestion that things won’t necessarily be quite as you fear? Do I, the astrologer, have the power to alter your day, or your week, with my words alone? Well, I don’t, but you do. Expect the best! Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. For the key to your future call 0906 751 5605 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23 ‘WHY do fools fall in love?’ So sang Frankie Lymon. Many years have passed since he was a teenager, but the world is still no closer to the answer. Then again, it isn’t really an issue which we could ever reasonably expect to resolve. And now we turn to your outlook for the next few days. There is a running theme, of a kind, involving questions that can’t be answered, no matter how many times they are asked and how often they are rephrased. Understanding and accepting this is potentially the key to success. Worried? Just four minutes on the phone will help. There’s an important message for you. Call 0906 751 5606 or 87177 from a mobile phone. LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 WHY are you here? Well, yes, I know what you have come for right here, right now. It is to read your forecast. But if we both step back a little further together, don’t we find ourselves wondering what on earth we are doing on this planet? We’ve got, of course, jobs to do, obligations to honour and interests to pursue. But isn’t there something else? Events this week take you closer to that sense of ‘something else’ and, in the process, you become inspired to start looking at an old situation differently. Confused? I’ve recorded four minutes of news that will change how you feel. Call 0906 751 5607 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22 A PIANIST who lost the use of an arm became a successful songwriter. One night, in a New York bar, he got into a fight. The police were called and had to hold him back. One officer yelled: ‘Does anybody here know who this man is?’ Back came the reply: ‘Yes, he’s a songwriter.’ ‘Oh yeah?’ replied the cop. ‘What did he write?’ Back came the reply: ‘Try A Little Tenderness!’ The man about whom this tale is told was a Scorpio. For you, this week may be an excellent time to practise what you preach! Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. For the key to your future call 0906 751 5608 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21 CHILDREN get so excited when they think their hopes are going to be fulfilled. They get so upset, too, when it seems their hopes are going to be dashed. We adults aren’t like that, are we? We at least tend to be better at disguising our more raw emotions from others. We hope these will be as invisible to them as theirs are to us. But in noticing traits and tendencies within ourselves and becoming more self-aware, we also become more powerful. You will see why I say that this week. Worried? Just four minutes on the phone will help. There’s an important message for you. Call 0906 751 5609 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

CAPRICORN Dec 22 — Jan 20 TO WHAT extent can we rely on one another? Isn’t there always a risk that someone may be mistaken about something? We are, after all, human. We make mistakes. It is in our nature. Ought we not, therefore, to look out for the errors that those around may be committing and hope that they, in turn, will watch our backs? There’s a big difference between gently pointing out an oversight and levelling a sharp criticism. A delicate path through a sensitive jungle must be negotiated this week. Confused? I’ve recorded four minutes of news that will change how you feel. Call 0906 751 5610 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

AQUARIUS Jan 21 — Feb 19 WHAT’S the difference between a wide, fast highway and a rambling country lane? Both may go in much the same direction, even to the exact same destination. One, though, will take you there quickly and efficiently, but tediously. The other will present an endless feast of interesting sights and events. What matters, in your life this week, is not how quickly something happens but how much meaning and profundity it has. Your watchword must now be ‘quality’, not quantity. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. For the key to your future call 0906 751 5611 or 87177 from a mobile phone.

PISCES Feb 20 — Mar 20 IT IS not just clothes, hairstyles and pop songs that go in and out of fashion. Social and political trends also wax and wane. We live through eras when one ideal is upheld so passionately that anyone who speaks against it is seen as heretical. A passing remark can trigger an accusation of non-conformism. We can all look back on examples of collective craziness and wonder why everyone fell for it. But are we as aware of the shape this is taking now? Watch what tide you swim with (or against) this week? Worried? Just four minutes on the phone will help. There’s an important message for you. Call 0906 751 5612 or 87177 from a mobile phone.