Can I turn a crush into true love?

WHeN I first read this, I found myself smiling with gentle affection, remembering crushes I had when I was young. But I ask you all to remember that there will be men and women in their 50s and 60s reading this who feel the helpless longing of a ‘love-struck teen’.

Such feelings are often unwise, but I wouldn’t ever patronise them with the word ‘foolish’.

In this situation, a bold girl would have no hesitation in flirting and finding out more about the attractive stranger. It’s so hard to be shy, isn’t it?

Yet you do talk to this guy and did find out about those weekend plans, so it seems to me you’ve made a good start, considering that he hasn’t been coming into the store for very long.

Hold on to that thought. You sound quite defeatist in your email, and that’s no good at all.

I found myself wondering how the writers of Mr Selfridge on TV would play this situation. They might have the sales assistant come over all faint while serving the chap, to get his attention.

Or change her hairstyle, so he has to notice and comment. Or (yes, that old one) drop something, so he helps pick it up. Or buy one of those lovely fake diamond rings and slip it onto her engagement finger so he notices (if any colleagues tease her, she smiles and says it’s her mother’s), before switching it to the right hand next time he comes in, to pique his curiosity.

Whatever you do to get his attention, I’m not sure staring at him like a hapless stalker is necessarily the way forward.

Control that fluster. Merry banter is good, and so is helpfulness, and — yes — some good old flirtation.

Chat him up, girl! There’s nothing wrong with a woman telling a guy she loves the colour of his shirt, or that his T-shirt is a cool design, or whatever.

There’s no shortcut to finding out if there is any mileage in a casual acquaintanceship; you just have to keep cheerful and open to the possibility.

Visualise the scenario you most desire. I’m a great believer in such signals.

And it all comes back to what you think of yourself, what you make of yourself. Hair, make-up, a ready smile and sparkle…all such things help.

Read Susan Quilliam’s inspiring little book, How To Choose A Partner (£7.99), for an overview that should make you more confident about yourself as an interesting person. It may not deliver this guy into your arms, but it will help you feel that anybody would be lucky to feel those arms around him.