Dave looked like a tired old dobbin off his stable nuts
sees a PM in dire need of a holiday
TOWARDS the end of its time, British Leyland would try to re-market its stinkingly unpopular car models by giving them a new name, new hubcaps, maybe a new radiator grille. Smoking turkeys such as the Princess, Maestro and Montego were given a Vanden Plas badge. Few motorists were fooled.
Yesterday David Cameron went on BBC1’s Marr programme to unveil a new, walnut-veneer soundbite for his Remain in the EU campaign. He talked of Britain facing a ‘decade of uncertainty’ if we separate ourselves from Brussels.
‘Decade of Uncertainty,’ said Mr Cameron. Pursed lips and a serious expression. Just in case the viewers had not taken it in, he said it a couple more times. ‘Decade of Uncertainty. Decade of Uncertainty.’
The odd thing was, he delivered it without much certainty.
Several of the referendum’s main players are looking pooped but none is showing it quite as palpably as the Prime Minister. His eyes are surrounded by little target-roundels of fatigue.
The angle he was sitting in his chair opposite Marr yesterday accentuated this. His left eye looked particularly bruised by exhaustion – a bit seepy and weepy round the edges. Have there been late nights at No 10 recently?
HOW he must curse himself that he ever listened to pro-EU Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood. If only he had played this referendum campaign more calmly and had not abused the civil service as he has done. If only he had followed the desire of many Tory activists and had recommended a Leave vote.
At the top of the interview he did his usual spiel predicting economic calamity if we Leave. ‘People believe you are overstating the case,’ said Marr. The public had become ‘glassy-eyed’ whenever Mr Cameron or George Osborne started on their predictions of Armageddon if we quit the EU.
‘We have run a hugely optimistic and positive campaign,’ whimpered Mr Cameron. His tone lacked much conviction or punch. The answer sounded formulaic, almost forlorn.
His shoulders were hunched as he slumped in his seat.
He did briefly rally when Marr asked about Turkey, and Leave campaign suggestions that Turkey and its 70million or so inhabitants may soon be allowed to join the EU. ‘It’s not gonna happen,’ averred Mr Cameron.
First he said Turkey would not join until the year 3000. Then he said it was ‘decades away’. Manana, manana, as Spanish builders say. The Leave camp were ramping up the Turkey story to give voters the collywobbles, he insisted, and there was a momentary flicker of resistance.
It was ‘profoundly wrong trying to frighten people’, concluded the man whose own campaign has been called Project Fear. But this burst of energy did not last.
Having watched David Cameron reasonably closely since he became an MP, I have not seen him so lifeless. He still managed the occasional wan smile but this was a spaniel with a distinctly dry nose – a dobbin off his stable nuts.
As for that left eye, it needed blotting paper. The man, clearly, desperately, needs a holiday. Can they not let a guaranteed vote-winner front the Remain campaign for a few days? A real man of the people is what they need. George Osborne? Er, okay, maybe not. I know: Gordon Brown! Yes. He’ll win the hearts of Middle England!
Or is it pointless? Also on Marr yesterday, a relaxed Nigel Farage claimed the British people had ‘had enough of being threatened by the Prime Minister and Chancellor’.
It was time to put British interests first and to ‘re-engage with a bigger, broader world’ outside the plummeting EU.
In the past fortnight, said Mr Farage, the electorate had cottoned on to the idea of ‘collectively putting up two fingers to the political class’.
Andrew Marr told David Cameron that the result was looking ‘agonisingly close’. That ‘agonisingly’ may reflect the Establishment/BBC view.
Others of us might prefer to say that the result is looking ‘deliciously’ close.