Is Joey ready for war he has started?
JUST like that, the fuse is set alight. And Scotland’s football supporting public, denied a place at la grande fete du jours, gleefully await a big bang that will make the Big Bang seem like a damp squib being set off in a soundproof chamber.
Oh, Joey Barton. You firebreathing, opponent-baiting, predictably volatile, controversy fuelled, trash-talking, headline providing controversy machine. You know exactly what you’ve done. Of course you do.
Whether you should have done it, that’s a different issue entirely. There’s a school of thought which holds that you should never make Scott Brown angry. Because, in the best traditions of green-hued superheroes, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
But even those provoked into paroxysms of outrage should thank Barton for bringing a healthy helping of weapons-grade cheek, complete with an added dash of impolite oomph, to this forgotten outpost of the UEFA family.
Getting down, dirty and personal by publicly ‘calling out’ Celtic and Scotland captain Brown, clearly attempting to goad the man with the scariest stare in the domestic game into doing something rash? Goodness. Quite a way to ease yourself into a new country there, chief.
Out here in the boondocks, where the smallest titbit of genuine sound and fury is pounced upon by a populace accustomed to bland hints and sly accusations, the reaction will have been akin to a Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer audience hooting and whooping in response to a one-liner straight from the mouth of some semi-lobotomised Noel Coward type.
In case you missed Barton’s appearance on Talksport, or haven’t ready any one of the 18.5million Retweets of the link to his bravura performance in the role of outside agitator, the free agent signing from Burnley said: ‘People keep talking about Joey Barton and Scott Brown. He ain’t in my league. He is nowhere near the level I am as a player. He can’t get to me.
‘If I play well, Scott Brown doesn’t stand a chance. That is not me being blasé. That is me just stating what I believe.’
In his defence, Barton has to be true to himself. Even if that means the new Rangers midfielder — and he’s not Paul Gascoigne, remember, but a 33-year-old straight out of the English Championship — coming across as a cocky loudmouth with far too high an opinion of his footballing abilities.
Yes, Brown looked anything but fit for much of last season; there are plenty of Celtic fans, as moved as they might be to defend their captain, who were hoping that the skipper’s dinner with new gaffer Brendan Rodgers was intended to hammer out a new player-coach role, with the emphasis on the latter.
Yet, the fact remains that the former Hibs midfielder has played in huge Champions League games against some of the best players on the planet. He’s captained his country, been a star performer for both Celtic and Scotland in crucial games; his contribution to our win over France in Paris, on the night of James McFadden’s wonder goal, should never be overlooked.
Barton? Well, he’s been booked a lot. And might get a few more after-dinner invitations coming his way after Saturday’s radio appearance. Seriously, he is a more than decent footballer — certainly good enough to perform well in Scotland’s Premiership, a league awash with plenty of recruits from England’s lower divisions.
But, at three years older than Brown, doesn’t he worry that openly declaring that, if he reaches his optimum performance level ‘unfortunately for anybody up there, they ain’t going to live with me’?
It’s not just Brown that he’s annoyed. It’s every fit, athletic, hard and ready midfielder in the league. Plus the new arrivals being brought in by, among others, a Celtic boss promised backing for some serious recruitment.
Yet Barton insisted: ‘I’ve been a marked man for 10 years. I’m comfortable with it.’
Just as well, Joey. Settle in and wait for the crash, bang and wallop to start in earnest, then.
In the meantime, let’s all offer up a vote of thanks to Mr B for providing at least some distraction from the actual football taking place — still going ahead despite our absence, remarkably — just across the Channel.
Brown’s been a star for club and country. Barton’s been booked a lot