Yes, I look different, but why are people so cruel?

This typed letter made me very sad. You simply want me to let people know how hard life is for you, and those like you, who do not fit within norms of acceptable appearance.

‘Why do people have to be so cruel?’ you cry and i bat that question back to readers, because i do not have the answer.

Those of us who were teased at school for wearing thick specs, having red hair, being small or skinny or fat, having scars, being hopeless at sport, or whatever; those who suffered those thousand small cuts of scorn will never forget the way your insides crinkle up in fear and dread, nor the acute loneliness of knowing you are different.

Your gender shouldn’t come into it. The truth is that you are a human being suffering great pain because people are just, well . . . horrible.

There are no excuses, even though some might say that there have always been mean people as well as kind people and that’s life.

however, it seems to me that these days social media and reality TV have both contributed to making mockery, spite, abuse and cruelty legitimate, as never before. i hate it so much.

if you are driven to despair, please call the samaritans on 116 123.

Yet have you ever researched Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)? This is a heightened state of anxiety based on perceived body image or appearance.

i looked at two websites to find out more (anxietyuk.org.uk and

mind.org.uk) and, as you say you do your shopping online, i’m assuming you have ready access to a computer.

it might also be interesting and helpful for you to order a book from your library or bookshop: Overcoming Body image Problems. This paperback, selfhelp guide (by Willson, Veale and Clarke) uses Cognitive Behavioural Techniques to talk about body image and anxiety over appearance. Do try it.

By the way, it’s always good to expand your computer skills, since that way you can access the good side of the world. Why not go to your library and study the notice board?

Your final point about ugliness and ‘beautiful people’ is well put and nobody could argue with it.

This short note tells me that you

have a good, kind heart, so I wonder if you have ever tried to find sanctuary in a welcoming church? Believe me, you do not have to believe in God to join a church community; I know from experience how nurturing they can be.

I also wonder, since you mention disability, whether you have ever thought of volunteering to help others? The best way to start would be to look at the website and find a group in your area.

All your life you have longed for people to reach out to you, but it is not too late for you to hold out a hand to others in great need.

Or what about a paw? Perhaps you could exercise dogs (if you like them) at a rescue centre?

And a wonderful charity called The Cinnamon Trust (cinnamon. org.uk; 01736 758707) is always asking for volunteers all over the country to help look after animals belonging to the elderly and the terminally ill.

Dogs are the most beautiful, most non-judgmental creatures in the world. Truly, a little rescue animal (dog or cat) of your own would do wonders to heal your heart. Please lift your head and look at the sky and see how beautiful rainclouds can be.

Open your ears to birdsong and music because there is so much to live for.

And, anyway, remember that when Mick Jagger was young, he was famous for his wonderful, strange androgynous beauty. It was — and is — yours, too.