Ephraim Hardcastle
WAS literary giant Evelyn Waugh, who died in 1966 aged 62, a paedophile? According to a new study, Evelyn Waugh: A Life Revisited by Philip Eade, he wrote a letter home in the 1930s, after his first marriage had failed, describing a visit to the red light district of Fez, Morocco, saying: ‘It was very gay and there were little Arab girls of 15 & 16 for ten francs each & a cup of mint tea. So I bought one but I didn’t enjoy her very much because she had skin like sandpaper and a huge stomach.’ He preferred another, Fatima, who was ‘brown in colour and had a gold tooth she is very proud of but, as we can’t talk each other’s language, there is not much to do in between rogering’. The old snob would be banged up today.
COMEDIAN John Cleese, 76, has overseen rehearsals in Australia for a stage version of his 1970s TV comedy Fawlty Towers, informing fans it’s ‘as good as’ the original series. But will it transfer to our West End, or do we have to content ourselves with his quite amusing, if derivative, Specsavers TV ad?
SUNDAY’S Desert Island Discs guest is Nadiya Hussain, 31, who won the BBC’s 2015 Great British Bake Off contest. She’s a charming young woman but would she have satisfied the ‘real achievements’ criteria established by the show’s creator, Roy Plomley? He did interview world famous sex siren Brigitte Bardot, pictured in her prime, asking what luxury item she would to take to her desert island. Plomley clearly thought she’d replied, ‘A penis’ when she’d actually said ‘happiness’ but in French style dropped the ‘h.’ He stammered: ‘Most interesting! And why precisely may I ask?’ Her innocent reply: ‘Well, it’s what the world needs most.’
TONY Blair’s onetime flatmate, Lord Falconer, 64, lectures Labour colleagues on Radio 4 about what it takes to win elections. Charlie has never fought one. He failed to be selected for a safe Labour seat in 1997, so Blair had him elevated to the House of Lords – from which he has chuntered about democracy ever since.
LOVE-him-or-hate-him entertainer Stephen Fry, 58, was back on BBC2 this week, talking about his struggles with bipolar disorder. In March he decamped to America with his husband, Elliot Spencer, 28, saying he’d ‘had enough’ of Britain. As for being bipolar, he told R4: ‘Look at the remarkable people in history who’ve had this condition.’ Including you know who!
AUTHOR Kathy Lette, 57, on the Olympics: ‘Watching those chiselled bods in their budgie smugglers, I have to keep tilting my head back so my eyeballs don’t fall out!’ Shameless Australian hussy!
THE Coventry Telegraph has scoured Court Circulars to discover that its area hasn’t had a visit from HM since 2000. ‘It shows Her Maj has great taste,’ grumbles a reader.