TWIST AND SHOUT ON THE OCEAN WAVES
EIGHT o’clock in the morning and i’m feeling more than a little queasy — a fact that has nothing to do with being at sea on Carnival’s newest ship, the Vista, and everything to do with the realisation that the scrambled eggs i have ordered are green.
A stomach-churning lurid green and my pancakes on the side have been dyed a shocking shade of red.
there should be a law against this much frivolity so early in the morning, but this is Carnival’s Dr Seuss themed breakfast and the children seem to be loving it.
Did no one tell them cats hate the water?
those who have an aversion to fun may want to stop reading now because Carnival is back in Europe for the first time in three years with bells on.
the italian built, 133,500-ton Vista can carry up to 4,000 passengers and is the fleet’s largest, most innovative ship yet. it not only boasts its own brewery, but also the first imax cinema at sea, a three-deck high theatre, that seats 187 people and shows the latest films (with popcorn, naturally).
Carnival’s motto is ‘Switch on Fun’ and the Vista delivers it in bucket loads. Literally.
the water park not only features a 455ft-long Kaleid-O-Slide, with corkscrew turns and dazzling hallucinatory effects, but also an enormous tipping bucket that will deposit 300 gallons of water on your head if it all gets a bit much.
Or you could just head to the poolside Blueiguana tequila Bar and work your way through the Margarita menu. After all, doesn’t everyone have a different idea of fun? And that’s exactly the point with the Vista.
But if you still have a bit of an inner child or, better still, an actual child, then Carnival’s Vista offers a dizzying array of variety without alienating the grown-ups.
i was travelling with my three children aged 15, 13 and six, and it became clear on port day number one (Marseilles) that getting off the ship was not an option.
Me: ‘Shall we go to Arles and visit the Van gogh gallery?’ them (in unison): ‘No! We want to have fun.’
What they wanted to do was spend all day on the Vista’s most exciting attraction — the SkyRide — an 800ft track suspended high above the top deck, a terrifying 150ft above the waves.
From this track hang pedalos that can be cycled at speeds of up to 18mph — if you’re not mesmerised by the view. it was so farreaching i was pretty convinced we could see Provence’s sunflower fields and Van gogh’s inspiration. i know, i’m clutching at straws, but what’s a mother to do?
in the end i threw in the towel on persuading them to disembark because what the Vista offered heavily outweighed, it seemed, the wonders of European civilisation.
i know, it’s a tragedy and my children are plebs. But the Vista’s itinerary in the Med this summer is heavily port based. Our ten-day inaugural sailing went from Barcelona to Marseilles, Livorna (for Florence and Pisa), Rome, Naples, Crete, Rhodes, Kusadasi in turkey and then finally Athens. there was just one day spent totally at sea — and for many families this may present a dilemma because such is the scope of things to do on board that sightseeing could get pushed to the back burner.
the whole ethos of the Vista — the clue’s in the name — is to spill as much of what’s on offer inside the ship to the outside so passengers can smell the sea and enjoy the sound of the waves.
THIS isn’t as common on a large mass-market cruise liner as you may think. All too often you can forget you’re at sea completely. Not so on the Vista. Many of the eateries have outside dining options in open deck areas. One of our favourite spots was the Sushi Bar’s promenade seating — lovely comfy sofas and easily the best teppanyaki roll i’ve ever eaten. Carnival has always done food well and some old favourites remain, including guy’s Burger Joint, JiJi Asian kitchen and Cucina del Capitano — a wonderfully authentic italian with singing waiters and home-cooked pasta recipes straight from the Captain’s own mother. One new addition is the Maine-inspired seafood shack by the tides pool serving not only lobster BLts and clam chowder in bread baskets, but a full complement of crustacean and fresh fish that can be ordered earlier and delivered to your table at any restaurant you may be dining in. By the tenth day of our cruise, i was starting to see things from the children’s perspective. We were in Athens and the Acropolis beckoned. ‘What’s that building site of top of the hill over there?’ asked the six-year-old. ‘No idea, darling. Let’s head back to the ship for another sushi roll . . .’