Bored of battling Barcelona? Enjoy it while you can!
AMONGST Celtic supporters the Gothic architectural masterpiece dominating Barcelona’s skyline is acquiring a new name. The Sagrada Familiar.
Antoni Gaudi’s art nouveau basilica is the most famous incomplete building on the planet. If Celtic and Barcelona keep being drawn together in the Champions League there’s a real chance Parkhead fans will see it finished.
Scotland’s champions have had eight Champions League group-stage campaigns. Thursday’s draw paired them with the Catalan aristocrats for the fifth time. Throw in a UEFA Cup clash and next month will be Celtic’s sixth jaunt to the Nou Camp since 2003.
One guy on a messageboard claimed to have drunk more beer on Las Ramblas in recent years than he has on the Glasgow Gallowgate.
That’s just one reason there was mild disappointment amongst supporters that a nervy qualifying win in Israel was rewarded with another game against Lionel Messi and Co.
On one level this is bizarre. Like the Krankies complaining about sharing a dressing room with Robert de Niro.
Celtic have a Harold Steptoe existence. They yearn for an escape from the yolk of Scottish football; only to be foiled time and again. Like Rangers, their scale and size dwarves Scottish Premiership rivals. They see themselves on the European stage. And the European stage means playing Barcelona, Man City et al. Repeatedly.
Celtic fans know they shouldn’t grumble over another jaunt to Catalunya. But if familiarity doesn’t quite breed contempt for one of the world’s great football clubs it does illustrate one of the fundamental problems with the Champions League.
The jewel in UEFA’s crown is now as dull and formulaic as an episode of Escape To The Country. The same old names playing the same old games. Year after year after year.
But Celtic fans have, for years, yearned for a trip to Real Madrid’s Bernabeu. Just for a change. Or a jaunt through the Channel Tunnel to Paris.
One fan online compared it to eating Indian takeaways. A weekend curry after a hard week is a treat. But every now and then a Chinese sweet and sour chicken holds more appeal than a lamb bhoona. Celtic have tried the tapas in Catalunya. They have sampled the pasta in Milan. This time they craved a change of menu.
To some degree, Manchester City offer it, though they have made a few trips to Old Trafford down the years.
Pep Guardiola’s City revolution is new and mildly brutal. Brendan Rodgers will relish the challenge. Three months ago, anyone predicting that Joe Hart and Craig Gordon might be sidelined for a Man City v Celtic Champions League game would have been sectioned.
Now? Hart and Gordon have the same problem. Their new managers like their keepers to have the skills of a No 10 with the ball at their feet. Even a crucial midweek penalty save in Be’er Sheva might not save Gordon now.
Drawing Manchester City also throws up another intriguing sub-plot. The scouting manager at Eastlands is Mark Lawwell, son of Parkhead chief executive Peter. The overall scouting chief is Fergal Harkins, a friend of Celtic from his days as a Nike executive.
Harkins is the reason the likes of Jason Denayer, John Guidetti and Patrick Roberts were shipped to Parkhead on loan. Roberts will be allowed to play against his parent club.
But if there were Celtic plans to nick another City kid before the transfer deadline the suspicion is they can forget it now.
Borussia Mönchengladbach are the group’s dark horses. Oddly, Scottish clubs usually do well against Bundesliga opponents. Pipping the Germans to third place in the group could be Celtic’s best hope of Europa League football after Christmas.
That’s why, when push comes to shove, another trip to Barcelona next month is an opportunity to savour.
Necking a few bottles of Moritz in the shadow of Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia is no hardship. It sure beats a Europa League Thursday in Maribor.
Never mind Paris. The man bored of watching Messi, Suarez and Neymar is bored of life.
The Champions League is disappearing into the deep, hip pockets of Europe’s biggest, wealthiest clubs.
Celtic would do well to enjoy it while they can.
“I’ve drunk more beer in Ramblas than Gallowgate”