Ephraim Hardcastle

BEFORE the vote for Brexit, there were discussions in Brussels about bringing the Queen over to address the European Parliament. Next year marks the 25th anniversary of her first such speech, in which she angered Eurosceptics with a veiled pro-EU speech. European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker likes anniversaries and loves to rub shoulders with royalty – the kings of Belgium and Spain spoke to the EU parliament last year, and King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands visited recently. So it will come as no surprise that wily Juncker hasn’t forgotten the idea of inviting the Queen. I hear he could be about to cause a bit of mischief by putting the idea back on the table, thus creating an awkward diplomatic problem for both the Palace and Downing Street. PUBLICITY-friendly Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby is advertising for a new ‘Head of Media Relations’. The successful applicant will be expected to ‘spot news stories prior to publication’ and have ‘experience of crisis management’. Critics note that ‘believing in God’ isn’t among the requirements. Says one C of E cleric: ‘He’s already got 12 people in his communications team. What does he call them? Spin doctors or apostles?’ STILL very much in her prime, English beauty Elizabeth Hurley, 51, pictured, was busy on the airwaves yesterday campaigning for breast cancer awareness. What a marked contrast to crabby ex-boyfriend Hugh Grant, 56, who hasn’t aged nearly as well and spends much of his time pompously campaigning to limit press freedom. Gorgeous Liz could teach the grouchy bore a thing or two about using fame to support really worthy causes. DAVID Dimbleby and the BBC Question Time team must have taken leave of their senses when they invited thuggish footballer Joey Barton, 34 – now charged with breaking the game’s gambling rules after claims he betted on matches – on to the programme in 2014. The publicity stunt was deemed a ‘new low’ for the long-running show. Hopelessly out of his depth, the midfielder, now with Rangers, got in hot water when he compared voting for Ukip to picking up ‘ugly girls’ in a nightclub. Barton later acknowledged: ‘My brains are in my feet.’ A PAIR of Queen Victoria’s knickers, made from the ‘finest Welsh cotton’ and estimated to be worth between £3,000 and £5,000, will be auctioned in Kent on Sunday. With a 55-inch drawstring waist they are surely from the monarch’s mature phase. They are certainly large enough to be utilised by petite actress Jenna Coleman, 30 ,who plays Victoria in the ITV series, as a makeshift parachute. ABOUT to publish an anthology of sexy writing, husky-voiced broadcaster Mariella Frostrup, 53, frets about watching depictions of sex in films and TV: ‘Quite frankly, I think, “Oh God, not another sexy couple doing it – him with his waxed back, and her with her perfect, bought breasts”.’ Annoyingly, she doesn’t specify where these scenes are.