Here come the Groovy Gang from the Jungle

HAS no one joined the dots? the arrival in Britain of a procession of dubious ‘child migrants’ coincided with reports that hundreds of terrorist sleepers who have been smuggled into the EU posing as ‘refugees’ are about to mount attacks in Europe as Izal is driven out of its strongholds in the Middle East.

Doh! From day one, I’ve been pointing out that these socalled ‘refugees’ are predominantly young men of military age, about whom we know nothing. they have no papers and we won’t even give them dental checks to establish their ages.

On a lighter note, these ‘children’ reminded me of that classic episode of Only Fools And horses, in which Del enters one of Rodney’s old paintings in a competition and wins a holiday in Majorca.

When they get to the resort, Rodney discovers the competition was for under-14s and he has to pose as a teenage boy for the duration — enlisted in the Groovy Gang and accosted by a besotted Bros fan.

Eventually, he snaps at Del: ‘thanks to your general wallyness, I am now a 26-year-old man who has just come second in a skateboard race!’

Del replies: ‘Second? you were in the lead when I saw you.’

If you spot a 34-year-old Syrian skateboarding through Croydon, he’s either the latest recruit to the Groovy Gang or on his way to blow up the nearest shopping centre! AS SOMEONE who wants a rock-hard, tungsten-tipped Brexit, I can assure Mother Theresa that she’s wasting her time trying to negotiate sensibly with 27 member states. The latest EU trade deal with Canada has just been vetoed by the regional assembly in Wallonia, Belgium. The Walloonatics really have taken over the asylum. A DEAD body has turned up in a wheelie bin in Luton. I’m surprised the culprits haven’t been fined for putting it in the wrong container.