About bloody time I got a gong!
Even if it makes me look like a right Royal hypocrite . . .
Nestling in a special box, it hasn’t been further than an arm’s length away since the Queen pinned it on my silk dress at Buckingham Palace 72 hours ago. Am i a hypocrite for accepting a CBe after all my words of criticism about the Royal Family? Certainly, i was astonished to receive a letter earlier this year telling me i had been nominated in the Queen’s birthday honours list.
Who could have put my name forward? i don’t exactly have cosy friends in power. i’m not pally with politicians or top tories and i’ve always considered myself an anti-establishment outsider. i didn’t attend a posh school or even finish a university degree. i’m like Marmite. You like me or loathe me.
since i’ve been presenting loose Women on itV a couple of times a week for a few years, i have gathered thousands of new fans and followers on social media. But i also attract a hearty dollop of abuse for my views — but that’s nothing i can’t handle. Over the years, i’ve grown a pretty thick skin, but i am still a controversial figure to many people.
i wondered why i had been chosen to be honoured with a CBe — a senior award, just one below a Dame. surely people ‘like me’ weren’t the right kind of people? the citation read, ‘for services to journalism and broadcasting’.
And i am not embarrassed to say that i shouted out: ‘ABOUt BlOODY tiMe!’
When you consider that sleazy political spin doctors, dodgy party donors and third-division pop stars get gongs for bugger-all, my credentials stand up to inspection.
i have been a journalist for nearly 50 years — starting on this newspaper in 1969. i’ve worked my way up from a junior fashion writer to presenting radio and television shows on all channels, editing a national newspaper and running a multi-million-pound budget at the BBC.
Along the way, i’ve given loads of talented people their first job — from television presenters such as Julia Bradbury and Claudia Winkleman, to reporters like Krishnan guruMurthy and esther McVey (who went on to become a tory minister).
i’ve never learned to curb my tongue or moderate my opinions — but people who equate my estuary accent with a low iQ or a vulgar disposition are making a massive mistake. i’ve won awards for the arts and been a senior museum trustee for many years.
As a columnist and broadcaster, however, i have frequently criticised the Royals, especially Prince Charles for his huge staff and his dubious eco-credentials.
i have complained about Prince Andrew and his lack of suitability to be an official trade envoy for British business. His daughters make me see red. Why should taxpayers cough up for any special protection for these girls, and why should they join the family ‘firm’ when they could be holding down a job with a salary? in all of this, though, my views are not too different, i’m sure, from those of many people.
i am a huge fan of the Queen — what a role model and surely the hardest working pen- sioner in Britain. Princess Anne is always fully briefed, interested and committed; 100 per cent no-nonsense.
MY secret crush is Camilla. i know she watches loose Women and we’ve been in touch — but i don’t think my CBe is a result of lobbying from the Duchess, no matter how much she may treasure that loose Women mug i gave her!
Anyway, when i received the letter, i hesitated. i knew Private eye and the carpers would say i was selling out. i disagree. i decided to accept a CBe for three reasons.
First, to show working-class women you can achieve great things if you work hard and have the courage to stick to your guns.
second, to strike a blow for older women in the public eye. i am still working as hard now at 69 as i did at 49 — hoorah!
Finally, though my late mother and i got on really badly, she would have been so proud.
Having decided to accept, my next problem was logistics — who to take to Buckingham Palace?
Honorees are allowed to be accompanied by three guests — and as i have no close family (except cousins) i decided to take my three best girlfriends. Again, this was striking a small blow for womankind in a room full of men.
none of us wore hats and i opted for sensible footwear: ankle-boots from AsOs costing under £50. My dress was specially made by Jasper Conran, from raw silk. i’d seen it at his couture show and loved the simple shape and autumnal colours. i also wanted to make a statement about British design, which has always been so important to me.
Arriving at the Palace, i was ushered into a room with the other senior honorees. Doesn’t it tell you something that there were only three women but about 20 men?
i had been to Buckingham Palace before, but it never fails to impress. All that white and gold and topclass paintings on the walls.
the footmen are a pretty camp crew. A couple couldn’t resist saying: ‘Welcome back, Ma’am!’
next, we were given a ‘lesson’ by a chap in a ceremonial uniform on how to accept our awards. We were told we had to queue up, go forward when told, stand by another chap in uniform and then — when our names were announced — step forward, turn to face the Queen, curtsey and move towards her. then the Queen would chat to us while she pinned the medal on a special clip. Our signal to depart would be when the Queen shook our hands.
some were visibly shaking — and i can understand why. it was like a complicated sequence from strictly, without the rumba or the judges’ scorecards.
the band was playing a bizarre selection of tunes. According to the programme, they included stairway to Heaven by led Zeppelin, send in the Clowns by stephen sondheim, Cinema Paradiso by ennio Morricone and a theme from Mozart’s Don giovanni rearranged by Michael nyman. Was someone having a joke at our expense?
the awards are bestowed in order of seniority, starting with the Royal Victorian Order, then a Knight and a Dame and pretty quickly the CBe. i moved to my position.
the Queen gave me a beaming smile and asked about my ‘busy’ career. then i got the handshake, did my mini-curtsey and went.
Her stamina is extraordinary. she handed out more than 100 gongs during the day, exchanging pleasantries and brightening up the lives of people who will never forget the experience.
Of course some awards went to faceless civil servants and worthless politicians. But the vast majority of recipients were ordinary people who’ve done something special.
i spotted Judy Murray, whose elder son Jamie — now one of the top doubles players in the world — was being appointed an OBe.
By 1pm, i was sitting down to lunch and drinking champagne, feeling absolutely fantastic.
that evening, friends came for supper. We had a ‘punk cake’ with the Queen’s head on it. i made a (very short) speech and finally declared lights out at 1.30am.
if i’m totally honest, it was better than any of my four wedding days.
i received hundreds of congratulations from total strangers on twitter and by email. i hadn’t realised so many people cared.
It was more fun than weddings’ my ( four!)