My best friend’s my new boss — how can I cope?

novelist, grandmother of four and ex-Blue Peter presenter, Janet ellis, 60, answers your questions...

QI’VE worked in the same office as a good friend of mine for more than ten years. However she’s recently been promoted and, as of January, will effectively be my boss. On the outside, I am supportive — yet the truth is, it’s already completely changed our relationship. We started at the same time and I’ve always felt we performed on a similar level.

Now I’m going to have to take orders from someone with whom I normally gossip about colleagues over too many glasses of wine. I don’t know how I’ll handle receiving critical feedback from her. Or the opposite — I’m conscious that praise could be perceived as favouritism by the rest of our team.

This is becoming a real source of worry and I don’t know how to act around her any more. How can I make sure this doesn’t destroy our friendship — or my job?

AAS SOMEONE once said, success doesn’t change you — it changes the people around you. While that’s not entirely accurate, as a lot of the trimmings that come with success can make a huge difference to your life, there is an element of truth in the saying.

It sounds as if you both initially greeted this news with delight. The powers that be have recognised your colleague’s abilities and rewarded her.

one of the reasons for their decision must be that they figured you’d both be able to cope with the situation. Employers want to run a happy ship and your closeness hasn’t got in the way of your efficiency so far.

It must be hard, though, to get used to the fact she harboured ambitions that she hadn’t told you about. While I’m sure she didn’t set out to go behind your back, there’s no doubt that you believed you were both level-pegging and would continue to be so. Somewhere along the line, she’s made it known elsewhere that she wanted to rise a little higher, but left you out of the loop. You don’t say that you were after promotion yourself, but you’re entitled to feel a little bit aggrieved she didn’t share this important part of her life with you. She obviously enjoys your friendship within the workplace. I’m sure you would have sensed it if she’d tried to distance herself, so she can’t have thought it was necessary to do so or that things would change much afterwards. As far as she’s concerned, it’s all fine. Has it been eating away because you’re kicking yourself for your lack of ambition, or because you fear being judged? Perhaps this change is the wake-up call you need and you might begin to investigate moving jobs. But I sense you don’t want to and I really don’t think you need to worry — no one else in your workplace has indicated they find the new situation even remotely difficult. You’re now uniquely qualified to help your friend. She’s in a new position of responsibility and will greatly value advice and support from someone who knows both her, and the job, well.

If you have a question for Janet, please email it to janetellis@dailymail.co.uk. All letters will be treated in confidence.