HONEYMOON HEAVEN
Nowhere’s more romantic than the wilds of Borneo — just avoid the crocs
We’re enveloped by pitch black. earlier in the day, I had convinced my wife Antonia that boating through a mangrove jungle in Borneo was a great idea. now, I am not so sure. We’re on honeymoon, as it happens. empress cicadas are screeching. ripples beneath us drum against our leaky glass fibre riverboat. nothing will go wrong, of course. But there’s no escape plan.
Then our ranger, who is sitting cross-legged on the bow, flicks on his torch. The white beam cuts through the nothingness until it catches the reflection of a pair of submerged eyes. They belong to a saltwater crocodile.
He adjusts the light’s position to the left, then to the right, revealing two more pairs of eyes.
‘It is high tide, and they like to hunt now,’ he says in a hushed voice. ‘But don’t worry, they are only small. no threat to humans for a few more years.’
Borneo is the largest island in Asia. It is a highly efficient ecosystem of dense, steamy rainforest. Sir James Brooke, a British colonialist, undertook mammoth expeditions here in the 19th century to bring order to a violent and chaotic tribal land.
In those days, the dayak, a collective term for the indigenous people of Borneo, practised the ancient tradition of headhunting.
This involved the taking of heads between warring tribes. nowadays, you are more likely to find yourself in a Bornean jungle spa having a head massage.
We are one hour north of Kota Kinabalu, Borneo’s capital. My wife’s grandfather worked here for five years as an accountant in the Commonwealth development Corporation during the Seventies.
It feels as though little has changed since then.
THere is one Canary Wharf-style office tower and the younger locals are ambitious for a more cosmopolitan existence. However, they are immensely proud of their heritage and constantly direct our attention to the country’s true natural power-house — Mount Kinabalu.
At 13,435 ft, it is the highest mountain between the Himalayas and new guinea.
Back to the crocodiles — or, rather, the fireflies, which had lured us into the night. As we cruise deeper into the jungle tributaries, transcendent specks of gold appear in the branches.
We learn that the males shine as brightly as possible in order to attract a mate.
To demonstrate this, our ranger creates a shimmering effect with the light from his torch. Within seconds, dozens of brightly lit female fireflies descend.
There is a sharp turn in fortune when our boat runs aground. For the next 30 minutes, our ranger battles to free us from the undergrowth of the riverbed.
I find it all suitably romantic — and hope my wife does, too.
We are staying at Shangri-la’s rasa ria resort and Spa, set in 400 acres of rainforest.
It’s ritzy. The design is modern with gold colour schemes and there’s an oversize bath on every balcony so we can splash about under the stars just like other honeymooners do in the Maldvies. ocean Wing rooms are best for couples. The days are bursting with action. Horse-riding, deep-sea fishing, windsurf-ing and an 18-hole champi-onship golf course are all a beach-side stroll away. A dawn hike in the nature reserve — a manageable 400ft or so above sea level — is highly recommended. Be sure to lather yourself in mosquito repellent as the jungle bugs are out in full force, though the views across the bay at sunset are worth it. To feel like king of the jungle, you can have a champagne breakfast hamper delivered for your arrival at the summit. Borneo’s wildlife is majestic. It is famously home to orang-utans and clouded leopards.
But they inhabit the north-western part of the island, requiring an internal flight from Kota Kinabalu and a three to five-day hack through jungle to see them in the wild.
You need to be persistent and have bags of luck to catch a glimpse of these shy creatures — even in their own habitat, numbers are scarce.
There is plenty to see closer to home. our next stop, gaya Island, is a 15-minute trip by speedboat from Jesselton Point in central Kota Kinabalu.
our base camp is the gaya Island resort. The rooms, built into the side of a sheer slope running down to the sea, are a feat of engineering.
It is an almighty climb to our quarters, but the reward is sublime — views across the South China Sea corridor with Mount Kinabalu in the distance.
Humans are on the back foot here. Macaque monkeys maraud the housekeeping trolleys.
They have been known to open the doors of unlocked bedrooms and empty the minibar. We come across a gang of them on the beach passing round a beer can.
NeArBY is the serene Tavajun Bay, a prime spot for paddle board-ing. The sea’s gentle current nudges you along the coastline. It gives a unique view of the marine life. I omit to tell my wife we are floating above a fever of stingrays on the ocean floor.
There are four seasons in Borneo — hot, hotter, wet and wetter. You can take refuge from the heat by dipping in the sea or sipping a cold beer.
When the rains come, they fall with such intensity the resultant chaos is a sight to behold.
one afternoon, we are stranded in the hotel by a ferocious storm. In the garden we watch, amidst the deafening roar, water strike the earth and be driven up in a thousand fountains.
Two hours — and a bottle of wine — later, it suddenly ceases. The call of a rhinoceros hornbill signals a return to calm. I can think of nothing more romantic.