Nicola’s caught out again by her nemesis... the 5ft 5in Natbasher

Ruth hits out at ‘long list of excuses’ from First Minister

ALEX Cole-Hamilton has the great misfortune to look like a solicitor and sound like a minor member of the royal family. He doesn’t have plums in his mouth so much as the entire fruit bowl.

When the Lib Dem rose at First Minister’s Questions to voice concern about delayed discharges, his glassy tones carried the éclat of a regal command.

He bade the First Minister to attend his local hospital, the Western General in Edinburgh, and explain to patients why they were waiting so long to go home.

Nicola Sturgeon declined, what with running the country and all, and it was probably for the best before the Edinburgh Western MSP had her scrubbing up and performing appendectomies in the garden lobby.

As with everything in Scottish politics, independence was roiling under the surface. Reports say the First Minister is readying her troops for a second referendum in 2018.

At one point, backbencher Stewart Stevenson called Miss Sturgeon ‘Prime Minister’ and she opted not to correct him. Very confident indeed.

SINCE launching their separation drive in 2012, the Nationalists have obsessed over the constitution to the detriment of more mundane portfolios, such as education, supposedly this administration’s top priority.

Ruth Davidson – 5ft 5in of Natbashing glee – relishes any opportunity to needle Miss Sturgeon on the issue she cares (second) most about. At First Minister’s Questions, she went after Miss Sturgeon over a report from the Sutton Trust, which found bright kids from poor backgrounds lag three years behind youngsters from better-off families. Why, Miss Davidson demanded, was a 15year-old south of the Border more likely to be a high achiever than one in Scotland?

The First Minister said it was an important report, not in the sense of it reflecting poorly on her government but more in the sense that calling it important was a handy substitute for actually following its recommendations. Everything she wants to dodge, she calls ‘important’. So bed-blocking was important and social care. Tackling drug driving was important but then Tory Douglas Ross asked when she was going to ‘Glee’: Ruth Davidson in combative form do something about it and it got downgraded to an ‘important discussion’.

Even the poor old Sutton report ended up of uncertain significance, the First Minister cautioning: ‘It is not new data. That does not make it unimportant but it is an important contextual point to make.’

The point, important or otherwise, had long since been lost. ‘As ever, the First Minister has her long list of excuses at the ready,’ quipped Miss Davidson. Kezia Dugdale continued the education attack but the First Minister was more interested in the woes of the Labour Party.

Jeremy Corbyn’s whipping of his MPs to back the triggering of Article 50 was ‘pathetic’, said Miss Sturgeon, and ‘not so much closing the stable door after the horse has bolted as closing the stable door after the horse is dead and buried’. A good line – if she hadn’t fluffed it on the first go.

MISS Dugdale shifted to council funding cuts but Miss Sturgeon was ready. Inverclyde – a Labour council – had decided to continue the council tax freeze. That, she argued, ‘proves the point that we are giving councils the resources’ to safeguard services. Whether a similar lesson could be extrapolated from the Scottish Government’s reluctance to use its tax powers, she did not elaborate.

Patrick Harvie had taken his brave pills and ventured a question implying criticism of the First Minister. Nominally Scottish Greens’ leader, he dedicates so much effort to propping up the SNP, it was fun to see him having a go over air passenger duty and emissions.

At least he’d never call something ‘important’ and hope it went away.