The dastardly Mr Deedes

Following the raid on several of its offices by the tax authorities, Credit Suisse took out a double-page advertisement in yesterday’s Financial Times to assert its zero tolerance policy toward tax evasion. The bank had already blitzed three separate Sunday newspapers with the same advert the day before. A tad de trop, as they say in Zurich? My advertising expert estimates the cost of their pompous grand-standing at £228,000.

The Bank of England’s gangly, shoot-from-the-hip chief economist Andy Haldane, 49, tells an audience in San Francisco that during the 1920s the Bank’s Governor would signal his opinion on a matter by moving his eyebrows. He says: ‘The eyebrows were, in a way, a primitive form of emoji.’ Remember Haldane’s comments about economic forecasting being in crisis after the referendum? His pro-Remain boss Mark Carney’s eyebrows barely stopped twitching for weeks.

Is Goldman Sachs as concerned about Brexit as it says? The bank’s newly-published international annual report reveals its London operation expanded last year. Pay is up too. The average salary among its UK staff now stands at £336,000.

Tesco’s £3.5m-a-year boss Dave Lewis failed to show at the recent UK Stock Market Awards on London’s Piccadilly, where he was named chief executive of the year. Organisers explained ‘Drastic Dave’ was busy burning the midnight oil dealing with the accounting mess which saw Tesco slapped with a £129m fine from the Serious Fraud Office. ‘He’ll need to do a few more late shifts to earn that back,’ muttered toothsome compere Katie Derham.

Asked to name his ‘Death-Row meal’, Berry Bros’s shaven-haired chief executive, ex-Navy man Dan Jago, 56, replies: ‘White truffle risotto with a glass of Barolo. Roast chicken with nine different vegetables and a glass of lovely claret. Then a small glass of King’s Ginger liqueur to finish.’ Fussy little beggar, isn’t he?