The dastardly Mr Deedes

Unilever boss Paul Polman hosted a conference call with journalists yesterday to outline plans to sell parts of his firm’s food division. It was interrupted by a piercing siren, which could be heard echoing around the firm’s Surrey HQ. He said: ‘It’s just a fire alarm. No need to panic.’ Will he be saying the same to jittery employees? Co-op Bank is now officially worthless, a sorry predicament it blames on its disastrous 2009 merger with Britannia Building Society. Investors point an accusatory finger at Neville Richardson, 58, the ex-Britannia boss who sold the lender, complete with ruinous loan book, while taking over the Co-op. He swanned off two years later clutching a whopping £4.6m, so perhaps this disastrous episode’s not all sad news. Bank of England rate setter, beanpole Belgian economist Gertjan Vlieghe, 45, pompously compares central bankers to doctors in that ‘doctors influence your health, and central banks influence economic outturns’. Not like weather forecasters, he says, ‘who can only tell you that chance of rain is high or low, not when it is actually going to rain’ – a dig at colleague Andy Haldane, who unfavoura- bly compared economists to hapless weatherman Michael Fish. A sensitive bunch, central bankers. While her team were getting thrashed at Arsenal, glossy West Ham chief executive Karren Brady (Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge don’tcha know?) grandly tweeted a picture of the puddings she was enjoying in her corporate box. A trifle tactless? An angry fan responds: ‘Having your cake and eating it too, while we’re getting our just desserts on the pitch.’ Bravo! Refined Financial Times editor – and Kevin Spacey lookalike – Lionel Barber is crowing after landing an interview with President Trump. He writes: ‘The president decided to talk to the FT because it offered his administration a medium through which to speak to an influential global audience.’ Clearly no one warned The Donald’s people that the FT sells fewer copies here than the Dundee Courier.