Is it just ME?

Or are wedding lists impossibly greedy?

SHIRLEY and James invite you to celebrate their wedding...their gift list is at luxurybrands. com.’ A card bearing a message like that has popped through my letterbox a few times this year, and I’m getting fed up with people’s avarice.

Wedding lists were invented to help young couples set up home together as they left their parents for the first time and needed basic necessities such as saucepans, crockery and cutlery. (The bride would have been adding household linens to her bottom drawer for some years beforehand.)

One gift list ‘suggestion’ I received asked me to make a contribution to the couple’s Isa. Another asked guests to help pay for a home cinema.

All these couples are professionals, who have lived together for several years. Their front takes my breath away.

For one of the weddings I’m attending this summer, I logged on to John Lewis to view the happy couple’s list; they want guests to contribute to a 64-piece designer dinner service (Vera Wang for Wedgwood, since you ask).

How charmingly oldfashioned, I thought, only to find I could afford either one plate, or the gravy boat stand.

When the invitation and wedding list are sent in the same envelope, it’s difficult not to feel your attendance is directly linked to you buying a gift.

And coming from those who have been living together for several years, it’s a bit of a cheek.

So I would say to friends: I consider it a privilege to be invited to your special day. But please, don’t ask me to respond generously to your rather venal greed.

From those who’ve been living together for several years, it’s a bit of a cheek