Statesman, veteran . . . or a dinosaur?

I am reluctantly persuaded. You change your mind. He performs a U-turn. We have an internal debate. You squabble. They re-open deep divisions. I am fascinated by ideas. You chew the cud. He is a member of the chattering classes. We have the interests of the country in mind. You have the interests of your party in mind. They are hell-bent on pursuing their own interests. I am passionate. You get carried away. He loses it. We aim for a political solution. You are politically motivated. They play politics with people’s lives. I think long and hard. You hesitate. He can’t make his mind up. I am independent-minded. You are a loose cannon. He is a traitor. I am a master of detail. You study the small print. He can’t see beyond his nose. We deliver. You force through. They impose. We encourage full and open debate. You love the sound of your own voices. They grind the business of government to a standstill. We negotiate an agreement. You reach a compromise. He caves in. I want to make Britain great again. You want to turn the clock back. He is trapped in the past. I have a wealth of experience. You have experience. He has wealth. I am an idealist. You are an ideologue. He is an idiot. I am an elder statesman. You are a veteran. He is a dinosaur. I am popular. You are a populist. She dons a bikini and swallows kangaroo’s testicles on I’m A Celebrity. I dream dreams. You have a vision. He is fast asleep.

I am loyal. You are a yes-man. He is cannon fodder. I am a realist. You are a pragmatist. He doesn’t believe in anything. I am selfconfident. You are self-satisfied. He is self-interested. I listen. You pay lip service. He has no opinions of his own. I am an orator. You have the gift of the gab. He is a windbag. I am a show-stopper. You are a showman. He is a show-off. I am an excellent constituency MP. You are an influential backbencher. Remind me, who’s he? I am a maverick. You are an outsider. He is Johnny-No-Mates. I invite two young friends around for a wide-ranging political discussion. You explore your sexuality. He is Keith Vaz. I am a bit of a character. You are a bit of a chancer. He is under arrest.