The one lesson I’ve learned from life

BeverLeY Turner, 43, a former sports presenter, now hosts a current affairs radio show on LBC. She set up The happy Birth Club antenatal course in West London in 2013, is married to Olympic gold medallist rower James Cracknell and has three children, Croyde, 13, Kiki, eight, and Trixie, six.

ALWAYS SAY WHAT YOU REALLY WANT

My CHILDREN’S births were the best days of my life, but I know many women have a traumatic time in labour, and postnatal depression continues to rise.

My relationship with my husband was tested when I had my third child, Trixie. In the middle of attempting to row, run and cycle from Los Angeles to New york, James was hit by a fuel truck and suffered a near-fatal brain injury. Ten days after the accident, I discovered I was pregnant with our third child (our other two children were aged six and 17 months at the time).

James’s frontal lobes (which control personality, including the ability to empathise) were smashed up. For a time he became an angry, unrecognisable version of the kind, funny father we knew and loved.

There was almost no joy or excitement about the pregnancy. I was often exasperated and stressed, and had to listen to a hypnosis CD to relax.

My due date came and went. A few days later, I woke up knowing exactly what to do. I wrote James a list of ten things I would need from him during labour, such as to stay quiet, don’t ask me to make decisions for you and agree with everything I say.

He accepted my list and I felt my shoulders drop. Something had shifted. My waters broke almost immediately and we had a baby girl 90 minutes later.

People mistake assertiveness for being bossy, but it’s actually a way of maintaining respect, satisfying your needs and defending your rights without manipulating or controlling others.

I’ve learned that it is possible to speak accurately under stress. Never be afraid to voice your opinion.

Assertiveness is a skill that is rarely taught, but it is always valuable

The happy Birth Book: Your Trusted A-Z Of Pregnancy, Birth And The early Weeks by Beverley Turner with Pam Wild (Little Brown, £14.99).