Scottish Daily Mail

Why are so many mothers drinking themselves to sleep?

Once it would have been a bedtime mug of cocoa. Now it’s glasses of wine ...

- by Sadie Nicholas

FOR seven, long, fretful nights, sleep had eluded Rachael Short. On the eighth, she could take no more — so she crept downstairs in the middle of the night and poured herself a drink. Not just a soothing nip of brandy either, but a whole pint of wine. Then she downed the lot. ‘It was drastic and a bit irresponsi­ble but I was utterly exhausted and at my wit’s end,’ says Rachael, 33, who is single and lives in Lincolnshi­re with her son and daughter, aged five and three.

‘And it did the job. I’d tried all the traditiona­l sleep remedies — herbal tablets, relaxation apps, breathing techniques — but nothing worked. With the wine, I fell asleep almost immediatel­y and slept peacefully until morning.’ And apart from a slight headache the next day, and the odd stab of guilt, Rachael was none the worse for her night-time binge.

And although that whole pint of wine was most definitely a one-off — the desperate act of a desperate woman — Rachael confesses she now regularly uses alcohol three or four times a week to get her off to sleep.

A glass or two of wine at bedtime has become her ‘cocoa’, she says, and it never fails.

Rachael, a full-time mother, certainly isn’t alone in her booze-tosnooze tactics. She represents a group of women who go beyond the so-called ‘wine o’clockers’ — those who traditiona­lly uncork a bottle to take the edge off a fraught day once the children are finally in bed.

Indeed, a substantia­l number of women like Rachael won’t touch a drop until bedtime, when they use it as a calculated sleep strategy. A study by The Sleep Council revealed that 25 per cent of us now regularly rely on alcohol as a ‘sleep remedy’, compared with 16 per cent in 2013.

According to Professor Kevin Morgan at Loughborou­gh University Sleep Research Centre, the frazzled middle classes are the main culprits.

‘Many people turn to alcohol to help them sleep, and certainly it has a direct impact on sleep,’ he says.

‘But we’re not talking about bingedrink­ing students. This is about the middle classes drinking regularly at home — every night in many cases; and women consuming way above the recommende­d 14 units per week, specifical­ly to help them unwind enough to fall asleep.’

Like millions of mothers, lack of sleep has plagued Rachael since having children: Jacob, who’s five, barely slept until he was three.

‘It’s as though not sleeping has become a habit for me — made worse by the normal worries that come with motherhood and keep my mind whirring,’ she says.

‘It doesn’t seem to matter that I’m shattered when I climb into bed around 10pm. All it takes is for one thought to pop into my head — such as what to cook for the children’s dinner — and my mind goes into overdrive. I am often tossing and turning until 4am.

‘I’ve become very tactical about using alcohol to help me sleep. What time I drink is crucial. I have it at 9pm then go to bed within the hour, when the effects of the alcohol mean I’m at my sleepiest.

‘And I don’t drink any more than one or a maximum of two glasses because I need to be on the ball if the children wake during the night. Also, I can’t risk being hungover.’

SHE estimates she drinks around 15 units of alcohol a week, which is just over the recommende­d limit. ‘Although I’d rather not have to resort to alcohol at all, without sleep I’m on a short fuse, and things that don’t bother me when I’m rested, such as dealing with the children squabbling, tip me over the edge.

‘Some friends have asked why I don’t ask my GP for sleeping pills, but I’m adamant I don’t want them. After a glass or two I can still function perfectly normally, but sleeping pills might knock me out completely, which I couldn’t risk.’

She adds: ‘The last thing I want to do is risk becoming an alcoholic so I certainly don’t drink every night. But on the nights when I don’t drink, I manage only two or three hours’ sleep before having to get up at 6am.

‘After a few nights like that, I feel I just have to resort to alcohol again.’ Although alcohol can undoubtedl­y help calm an overactive mind, those who rely on it to get to sleep should exercise caution, says Professor Jim Horne, a leading sleep neuroscien­tist and author of Sleepfarin­g: A Journey Through The Science of Sleep.

A 75cl bottle of red, white or rose contains around four big glasses. Each glass equates to 2.4 units of alcohol, which, even if only one glass is consumed each night, is going to put the drinker over the Government limit of 14 units a week.

AS WELL as the wellpublic­ised health risks associated with habitually drinking more than recommende­d levels, too much alcohol will also exacerbate sleeplessn­ess.

‘Just like lack of sleep itself, the use of alcohol to get to sleep has been with us since time immemorial,’ says Professor Horne. ‘But it’s about moderation. A nightcap, such as a glass of warm milk with a shot of brandy, can help you to settle.

‘But drinking too much will have an adverse effect. It might knock you out, but alcohol tends to be metabolise­d fairly quickly. So after about four hours your blood alcohol levels will have plummeted and this tends to cause you to wake during the night in a state of agitation.

‘Also, too much alcohol can lead to snoring, because the muscles at the back of the throat relax, and results in disturbed sleep.’

So just how much sleep does the average woman actually need?

Professor Horne says: ‘The acid test of insufficie­nt sleep is simple. We all have a bit of an early afternoon dip, but if you’re sleepy throughout the day, you’re not getting enough.’

It’s common for women to suffer sleep deprivatio­n while their babies are small, but as full-time mum Lucy Willgress, 41, has discovered, those problems can remain even after your children start sleeping through the night. Although her three-year-old daughter Tulip now sleeps well, Lucy has lost the ability to drop off easily.

She now relies on drinking one or two glasses of wine shortly before bedtime, four nights a week.

‘It’s as though the initial lack of sleep when Tulip was a newborn has become ingrained in me and I no longer know how to drop off or stay asleep,’ says Lucy, who is married to Simon, 33, a project manager, and lives in Leicesters­hire.

‘There’s a part of me still expecting to be woken by Tulip in the night, and I think I subconscio­usly listen out for her,’ she says. ‘Plus my head is always full of things that can cause me to wake during the night.’

Like Rachael, Lucy tried every sleep remedy she could get her hands on, only to find that wine — so long as she drank it no more than an hour or so before bed — worked best. ‘Tulip

goes to playschool three days a week, so I tend not to drink the night before as I’m very conscious of having to drive her there the next morning,’ says Lucy. ‘On those nights, I routinely go to bed at 10pm to give myself extra time to drop off, but I’ll often be wide awake four hours later.

‘On the other nights, I have a couple of glasses of wine — Merlot in winter, Chardonnay in summer — at 10pm and go to bed at 11pm.

‘The effect of alcohol on my sleep is startling. That first sip of wine enables me to relax and let the day go. Although I’m sure it’s psychologi­cal, the upshot is that when I get into bed I’m instantly relaxed, my mind isn’t whirring, and I tend to fall asleep within about ten minutes.

‘Those few glasses of wine also ensure that I sleep right through the night, and I actually feel more refreshed the next day than on the nights when I don’t drink alcohol and can’t sleep.’

Lucy says she gets through two or three bottles of wine a week — amounting to between 20 and 30 units per week — but doesn’t want to rely on alcohol for ever.

‘My husband is a fitness fanatic, so rarely drinks, but he accepts that a glass of wine really helps me to get a good night’s sleep for now. But I know it wouldn’t be good for my health long-term.’

MICheLLe Levene, 44, a former air stewardess, also hopes that when her daughters, aged seven and three, are older, she’ll be able to sleep without the need for a pre-bed glass of wine several times a week.

‘A combinatio­n of giving up flying five years ago and becoming a mother means that I have struggled to sleep for years,’ says Michelle, who is now a promotiona­l rep and lives in Chigwell, essex, with her husband and their girls.

No matter how exhausted she’s feeling, it can take her hours to get to sleep. ‘even on the rare occasions when I do drop off quickly, I can wake in the middle of the night having suddenly remembered a job that needs to be done,’ she says.

having tried all the usual recommenda­tions (soothing music, sleep apps, hot baths, milky drinks), Michelle is adamant that the only thing that has any real effect is a glass of her favourite rose wine.

‘I discovered it about four years ago when my elder daughter was going through the terrible threes and I needed my sleep to cope with her tantrums,’ she says.

‘Until then, I’d never been one to drink very often because of the strict regulation­s about alcohol for cabin crew. Now, a glass of rose close to bedtime makes me very sleepy. I’m amazed at the difference it makes. Just one glass is all it takes to silence the white noise in my head that keeps me awake.

‘Although my husband doesn’t have a nightcap, he’s happy for me to. If I’m tossing and turning in the night it disturbs him, so it makes for a more restful night for him.’

Still, Michelle admits she is conscious that she doesn’t want to rely on alcohol indefinite­ly.

‘I don’t want this to become a long-term habit as I know that it’s not good for my health,’ she adds. ‘I’d like to think that when my children are a year or two older, my stress levels will reduce and I’ll be able to find other ways to switch off my brain and sleep well.’

Countless other women will doubtless be hoping for the same.

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 ??  ?? Desperatel­y seeking sleep: Michelle Levene (left) and Rachael Short say drinking alcohol is the only way they can drop off
Desperatel­y seeking sleep: Michelle Levene (left) and Rachael Short say drinking alcohol is the only way they can drop off

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