There have been times I’ve thought of jacking it all in
FINdING out that Lewis Stevenson entertained serious thoughts about quitting football comes as something of a shock.
Given his reputation as a model professional, the notion of him actually walking away feels like it would be such an enormous waste of this man’s talents.
Yet there Stevenson sits, admitting he was on the brink of leaving not just Hibs, but the beautiful game in its entirety. More than once, too.
As he prepares for a testimonial against Sunderland on July 9, yet another new contract from yet another new(ish) manager signed and sealed, the 29-year-old declares himself something of an accidental footballer, having never really entertained boyhood dreams of making it as a pro.
It has worked out okay for him, of course. even if he didn’t always believe in his ability to go the distance.
Currently on his ninth Hibs head coach, excluding caretaker gaffers, Stevenson offered up a surprising answer when asked if he’d ever been close to leaving a club he joined at 14.
‘there have been times, to be honest, when I’ve thought about jacking football in,’ said the left-back, who made his debut in a League Cup game against Ayr United in 2005.
‘But I’ve had help from family and friends to stick with it. It’s worked out well, so I’m glad I stuck with it.
‘there were times when I lost faith. It was probably the worst a couple of years after I came into the team.
‘even when I was younger, I never had my heart set on being a footballer.
‘It kind of just happened. It was always a pipe dream, not something I ever imagined I’d be able to do.
‘People believed in me more than I believed in myself.
‘there were just times when I didn’t think I was giving enough to the team, didn’t think I was doing myself justice. this feels like a eulogy!
‘there are ups and downs. I’ve had my fair share.
‘In football, all you see is the stuff on the pitch.
‘But there is so much off the pitch that takes its toll on you.
‘the mental aspect is a massive thing — and I think that defeats as many people as ability or physicality.
‘It’s probably just a stress thing. every time you get to the end of your contract, people are asking you what’s happening and your future is right up in the air.
‘Probably the easiest option for me would have been to just turn my back on it all and try something else.
‘But I stuck with it. two cups and a league title later, I’m happy to have done so.
‘the club have stuck with me, I’ve stuck with them — and it’s worked out pretty well.’
Oh, it’s definitely worked out for both parties.
there’s a reason why Stevenson is the Hibs player to have won both the League Cup and Scottish Cup with the club; that can’t all be down to luck.
Yet, even when he’s occasionally done something showy on the pitch, you could always guarantee that ‘wee Lewis’ would play his importance down after a game. taking centre stage isn’t his style.
Wouldn’t he like, just for a change, to be the guy — maybe like Jason Cummings — who went out of his way to grab the limelight?
‘Aye, totally,’ he grinned. ‘even at boys’ club football, I was never like that.
‘But I’ve got a wee boy now and I tell him to forget about being a defender, because you get no thanks for it. Be a striker, get all the glory!
‘You can only be who you can be. I would love to be the guy who is happy being the centre of attention. Or maybe I wouldn’t!’
Inevitably praised by managers for his work rate, dedication, even his suitability to marry your daughter in one famous instance, Stevenson laughed when reminded of some of the lovely things said about him by bosses down the years.
‘It would be quite nice for someone to say I’m a good player who does well for the team, rather than just a good guy,’ he said.
‘You need different types of characters in the changing room.
‘I’m never going to be the player who leads everyone.
‘But I see myself as a pretty good follower.’
It’s typical of Stevenson and his attitude to life that, far from trousering all of ‘his’ take from this testimonial year, he’s giving half of the cash — from last season’s dinner and the match against Sunderland — to charity.
‘It’s not really me that’s giving the money away, it’s the fans that are paying for it,’ he insisted.
‘I’m obviously not a Premier League star who earns millions and millions, but you want to give back because it’s the fans that have propped the club up. ‘People are saying it’s a great gesture from me but it’s a great gesture from the fans because, at the end of the day, they are actually putting their money in and paying for it.’ that desire to always duck the spotlight, to deflect attention on to the efforts of others, is unlikely to survive a day when Stevenson will be afforded all the honours that go with a testimonial.
‘It’s a pleasantly uncomfortable prospect,’ he said.
‘I’m actually nervous already thinking about it, but it’ll be fine as soon as the game starts,’ said the experienced all-rounder, who reports for the first day of pre-season with the rest of the Hibs squad this morning.
‘even though it’s a testimonial, it’s still a big game for us.
‘We need to prepare for the season and Sunderland are going to give us a tough test.
‘I’m sure the manager won’t be in the frame of mind to be giving me penalties and stuff like that.
‘I probably wouldn’t take one if he gave me it!’
Lewis Stevenson was speaking at La Favorita on Leith Walk, where it was announced the Vittoria Group will sponsor his testimonial against Sunderland on July 9. For more information on hospitality packages, priced at £60 for adults and £50 for 12-17 year-olds, visit eticketing.co.uk/ Hibernian or call 0131 656 7077.