OSCAR CAINER

I RECENTLY got back from the edinburgh Fringe. Standup comedy is my passion — my record is 123 hour-long shows in three weeks!

This particular visit was more of a sprint than a marathon, though i may have developed a stitch from laughing so much. but having seen so many performances, i’ve started to appreciate some of the techniques of the trade. one is called ‘the pull back and reveal’. and, following Mercury turning direct, and the Full Moon conjunct neptune, the celestial stage is set to get in on this act.

ARIES Mar21—Apr20 WE KNOW burying our head in the sand doesn’t solve a thing. But it doesn’t stop us copying ostrich-like techniques sometimes. It can feel comforting to close our eyes and escape from reality. But we can’t stay there for long. And the danger is that, while we’re in avoidance mode, the problem gets bigger rather than smaller. The issue you’re currently trying to ignore exists more in your head than in the real world. If you take a good look, you’ll be able to push it from your mind. What a relief that will be. change your future! call now for your spookily accurate Moonsign forecast. dial in your date of birth! call 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS Apr21—May21 SPEAKING of thrones, as we did yesterday, I am reminded of wise King Solomon in the Bible. Two women sought his advice. Both purported to be the mother of a child. Solomon told a servant to cut the child down the middle and give half to each woman. One woman pleaded with him to spare the child’s life, and give it to her rival. Solomon realised this was the mother and ordered the child to be given to her. When asked to judge a dispute today, you may need to conduct your own test. Big changes are due between now and the next New Moon. for your spookily accurate Moonsign prediction, call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May22—June22 WELL done you! Everything’s gone swimmingly recently and you feel great. Of course, it’s important to celebrate your success. It’s far more worthwhile than focusing on shortcomings and faults — which is what you’ve done recently. There’s nothing productive in telling yourself you can’t do something when you can. But it’s important to balance between modesty and blowing your own trumpet! Remember what you have to be thankful for and express your gratitude in the warmest way. change your future! call now for your spookily accurate Moonsign forecast. dial in your date of birth! call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June23—July23 WE CAN all try to be as logical as Mr Spock. But too often our attempts at applying Vulcan-like rationality are hijacked by desires that are as absurd as they are unexplained. These propel us away from the sensible course of action and on to a path that leads only to trouble. Only then do we start wondering why we allow ourselves to be diverted and how can we clear up the mess. As a situation changes, you’ll understand what led you into this current challenge. The insight you gain will help you find a simple solution. Big changes are due between now and the next New Moon. for your spookily accurate Moonsign prediction, call 0906 751 5604.

LEO July24—Aug23 YOU’VE felt the strain for some time. Since Mars entered Leo, the pressure has been relentless. Though it’s known as the ‘power planet’, you might not have detected any change in your own energy supply. In fact, it probably feels the opposite has happened — it may have delivered every sort of stress, forcing you to dredge up every last ounce of your spirit to cope. With Mars now in Virgo, you can feel proud of getting through this turbulent period — and be able to see all you’ve gained. change your future! call now for your spookily accurate Moonsign forecast. dial in your date of birth! call 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO Aug24—Sep23 VIRGOS are generous people — selfless, open-hearted and devoted to those you love. Now, don’t get me wrong, your selflessness is a gift; the problem is when it becomes self-sacrifice. It can sometimes feel as if you’re carrying the injustices of the world on your shoulders. Do you really need to cart this weight around with you? The woes of one person alone make for a heavy load. I’m not advocating a new selfishness. All I’m saying is that it’s all right to say no every now and then. You’re not failing anyone. Big changes are due between now and the next New Moon. for your spookily accurate Moonsign prediction, call 0906 751 5606. LIBRA Sep24—Oct23 IF WE all thought broadly the same way, wouldn’t life be easier? And why does it sometimes seem as if you’re the only one who thinks differently to everyone else? It’s easy to doubt yourself in such situations. When you imagine that everyone is thinking the same thing, then it makes sense for you to be wrong. But logic isn’t always right. Only you are perceptive enough to see to the heart of a particular, pressing problem. It might feel isolating, but don’t let yourself be swayed by others. Your instincts are right. change your future! call now for your spookily accurate Moonsign forecast. dial in your date of birth! call 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO Oct24—Nov22 THE truth may set us free, but it isn’t always easy to look at. When we’ve created a soft and fluffy bed of pretence, we want more than anything to stay there, away from harsh realities knocking at the door. As long as we have our ears to the pillow, real life can be muffled. But when we’re forced into awakening from a daydream, it’s no bad thing. Truth is a gift. As your eyes begin to open: don’t be afraid of what you see. If you embrace the coming changes, you’ll find they have inspirational effects. Big changes are due between now and the next New Moon. for your spookily accurate Moonsign prediction, call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov23—Dec21 APATHY is very frustrating. When someone doesn’t care, they lose sight of their dreams and desires. They’re content to drift . . . achieving not very much, while letting chances pass them by. To you, this is an almost unfathomable way of being. You could never let yourself be characterised by indifference. Yet it’s a surprisingly easy state to slip into. The opportunity arising demands a level of commitment you’d rather avoid. But, dare I ask, is that conviction or laziness speaking? change your future! call now for your spookily accurate Moonsign forecast. dial in your date of birth! call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN Dec22—Jan20 FULL Moons are typically seen as the culmination of a process. Yet this doesn’t quite cover the nuances of the celestial situation you find yourself in. The illumination brought into your life by yesterday’s Full Moon linked with Neptune coincided with Mars changing signs. This suggests the fulfilment available is not the end of this story. Your journey is by no means finished, your race not yet run. By all means take advantage of what’s offered. But be under no illusions; your quest has just begun. Big changes are due between now and the next New Moon. for your spookily accurate Moonsign prediction, call 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS Jan21—Feb19 THE Full Moon doesn’t occur in one place. It’s the product of an axis that reaches across our skies, with the Moon on one side, the Sun on the other. For you, this Full Moon made its axis in a part of the sky representing matters to do with money, resources and negotiation. It suggests the outlook for your material well-being has its fair share of sunshine. But ‘fair share’ is probably the phrase to be noted. If you can prove your worth, it won’t go unnoticed or unrewarded. change your future! call now for your spookily accurate Moonsign forecast. dial in your date of birth! call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES Feb20—Mar20 A GOOD mood can be brought down by someone else’s bad one. Self-confidence can be shattered by the sneer at the corner of someone’s mouth. Laughter can fade away at the tight-lipped frown of a stranger. We’re all susceptible to the energy, emotions and moods of other people. We can all fall prey to bad mojo. Are you aware of the energy you’re projecting into the world? It’s worth being mindful of the vibes you’re currently sending out. You have power at your fingertips. Choose to be a ray of sunshine. Big changes are due between now and the next New Moon. for your spookily accurate Moonsign prediction, call 0906 751 5612.