AN INSPECTOR CALLS

His mission: To test hotel hospitality to the limit

WE FULLY expect to see the cast of Dr Finlay’s Casebook trotting out of Dunstane House as we cross the threshold of this classic William Playfair Victorian townhouse in Edinburgh’s West End.

Then we prepare ourselves for post-war brown furniture, heavy drapes and pinched rooms with dodgy showers.

In fact, this glorified bed-andbreakfast — and its sister building across the road — has just undergone a six-month, million-pound renovation. The result is impressive, not least because the interiors (tartan upholstered chairs, photos of Edinburgh and lots of the Orkney Islands) make sure you know this is Scotland, but without First Minister Nicola Sturgeon-style hectoring.

We’re booked into a ‘classic wee double’, as it’s called, but ask if there’s any chance of an upgrade. The lad on reception wearing a gamekeeper’s waistcoat taps away on the computer, as if trying to unearth the deepest of secrets.

Meanwhile, my wife goes walkabout, inspecting the dark blue bar (called the Ba’ Bar after the street football game played in Orkney, from where the owners hail) and the cheerful, sumptuous lounge, in which an American couple is having tea and shortbread.

Eventually, the receptionist says he can upgrade us two notches for the price of one. Done. He takes us upstairs and introduces us to a plush room with neutral colours, tall headboard, retro Bakelite telephone, contemporary pelmet and a side view of the owner’s fleet of classic cars.

We then head off to explore this wonderful city, but promise to be back for dinner — although we are not sure where the dining room is.

Turns out there isn’t one. You eat casually in the bar or in the lounge — and it’s a disappointment.

The haggis balls are fine, but to describe our pieces of fish sitting next to some salad leaves as a main course is disingenuous.

Thank goodness a proper breakfast is offered in the morning, where we spot the American couple looking far less perky than they were the day before.

Perhaps, like us, they had failed to resist the Malt of the Week sitting invitingly on the bar before turning in.

The Dunstane House 4 West Coates Haymarket Edinburgh EH12 5JQ Tel: 0131 337 6169 thedunstane.com Doubles from £174 B&B