ONLINE PORN IS WRECKING MARRIAGES
Explicit sites blamed for 70pc of Scots break-ups
SOARING numbers of Scots marriages are breaking up thanks to the rise of online pornography.
Experts have been overrun with cases in which obscene internet sites cause irreparable cracks in relationships.
Pornography is now blamed for up to 70 per cent of Scotland’s rocky marriages – up from as little as 10 per cent in the 1990s.
Anne Chilton, head of counselling at charity Relationships Scotland, said: ‘Twenty years ago, it was probably an element in around 10-15 per cent of cases. It’s now around 70 per cent; the increase has been staggering.
‘Couples have always argued and bickered – that hasn’t changed – but where people used to escape from difficulties in their relationship by playing golf or going to the gym or the allotment, internet pornography is increasingly providing that alternative.
‘The problem is that, unlike the other pastimes, porn is now instantly available and it’s also brought back into the relationship.’
Numbers of both marriages and divorces in Scotland are falling – but there is no way of
keeping track of trends in common-law relationships.
However, a recent survey by Relationships Scotland and its sister organisation south of the Border, Relate, found that around half of counsellors are now reporting rises in porn-related cases.
One in five women regards watching explicit websites alone as cheating, compared with only one in nine men.
The report says: ‘Pornography and the impact it has on the relationship is an increasingly common problem seen in the counselling room.
‘The widespread availability and use of porn does seem to be creating difficulties for many individuals and couples, with relatively few services available to them.’
Miss Chilton said: ‘Pornography is more likely to be seen as a betrayal by women than men, shattering the trust in a relationship or a couple’s marriage vows.
‘It can cause sexual problems as real intimacy fails to match the excitement of what’s on screen and women can end up feeling coerced into practices their partners have seen online. Porn is normalising extreme forms of behaviour, which are becoming mainstream.
‘Sometimes, couples will want to discuss a recently discovered porn habit. In other cases, it can take up to 15 sessions before they develop enough trust to tell you what’s really behind their problems as there’s still a shameful aura around the subject.
‘We try to get people to stop so we can put something in place to repair the relationship – but some people are addicted and don’t want to stop. The key is not to moralise but provide people with health warnings, educating them about the risks: the devastating effects of a break-up on a home and children.’
Mary Sharpe, chief executive of Edinburgh-based charity The Reward Foundation, which gives talks to pupils about the risk of pornography, said: ‘These observations are further evidence of the potentially harmful effects of pornography.
‘There are 37 neurological studies that evidence brain changes from internet pornography. Scans have shown even moderate use causes grey matter to shrink in key areas needed for thinking and learning.
‘Small wonder that porn has the power to devour relationships and wreck families.
‘Many young people today are conversant with every kind of sexual act imaginable, but they know far less about intimacy. We teach exercises that help us develop self-control, a key skill for success in life.’
Relationships Scotland helps 30,000 people a year and
‘Porn has power to devour’
estimates family breakdown costs the Scottish economy £3billion annually.
The Scottish Daily Mail has been campaigning for laws to restrict access to pornography for youngsters.
From next April, users of porn websites will have to provide details from a credit card – which cannot be issued to under-18s – before gaining access. A regulator will have the power to shut down those sites that don’t comply with the new laws.