Dog biscuits galore... and then I struck gold
YEARS ago I used to be pretty adept at sniffing out stray coins. At university our revolting lime green sofa was a veritable life-saver when it came to scraping together enough shrapnel for a carton of milk or a newspaper. These days, thanks to my debit card, I have less cause to go rootling about in the furniture for emergency grocery shopping funds. But in the name of the Mail’s Quids for Kids campaign I’ve dedicated my Friday night and Saturday morning to reviving my dormant coinsnaffling skills. I start on the sofa, that reliable money tree, which I’m certain will throw up some treasure. What I find when I pull back the cushions is pretty interesting. There’s a scattering of green old coppers; half a dozen dog chews my terrier appears to have buried over the past year; some mangled interdental brushes; my driving licence (been wondering where that was!). No blasted nuggets, though. Cupboards are next. Nowt in the old overcoat. Nor in my bomber jacket. Grabbing something disc-shaped in a pea coat I haven’t worn in two years feels hopeful — yay! That’s the first one. Ooh, there’s a crumpled up £20 note here, too.
So just the one pound coin out of my flat, but I’m off to my parents’ home the next morning, which, them being determinedly analogue creatures, I’m hoping should prove bountiful.
Wading through the cloakroom, all the coats are stuffed with countryside paraphernalia. Dog treats . . . golf tees . . . coin! My mother has a scour around her cupboards and fishes two more out of some forgotten handbags.
Meanwhile, my father is despatched to upend his desk. As a lifelong commuter, he’s probably paid for more Styrofoam cups of tea at Didcot station than a bricklayer, so I’m betting it’s an Aladdin’s Cave of old £1 coins.
No such luck, alas. ‘But I’ve found five euros, 200 Portuguese escudos and I’ve even got some old Spanish pesetas here if that’s any use,’ he says. It isn’t. No matter, I find another in mum’s car.
Inspecting my stash from all the pockets I’ve emptied, I’ve retrieved more bookmakers’ biros than I’d care to mention, a giant gumball’s worth of chewing gum and enough dog biscuits to feed an entire kennel. Plus a grand total of £5 in old £1 coins. And a £20 note too, which I will chuck in for good measure.
Not a bad result. And all in all, it’s taken probably no more than 20 minutes out of my weekend. Get rummaging!