DUTCH ENCOUNTER ONLY SERVES AS A HARSH REMINDER OF OUR FAILURE

AS AN exercise in brutal self-flagellation, it may be hard to beat. As a useful pointer to the future direction of our national football team? Not so much.

While eight middling middleweight European nations are locked in a continuing struggle for places at the World Cup, we are left to ponder on the futility of hope, the cruelty of fortune… and the absolute misery of an existence lived on the furthest fringes of the footballing universe.

Being a Scotland fan really is a hoot and a half, isn’t it? And this week brings another reminder of our lowly, unloved, left-over status.

Yes, we’ll all pay close enough attention to Thursday night’s friendly at Pittodrie between Scotland and the Netherlands.

Stick any team in a dark blue jersey and we’ll allow ourselves to get at least mildly excited. The fools that we are.

Should Malky Mackay (below) steer his makeshift team to victory over the Dutch, why, it’ll provoke a widespread outbreak of bravura, with fans singling out hitherto unheralded — or unfairly ignored — players as potential saviours of this benighted footballing nation.

In the aftermath of yet another failed qualifying campaign, we want to believe in something. Anything. Or anyone.

Force yourself to gain a little perspective, however. And accept that there can rarely have been a more pointless fixture in all of football than this week’s ‘challenge match’ in the Granite City.

A reminder to both nations that they have failed in their respective attempts to qualify for next summer’s main event, more of a shock to the Dutch than ourselves, it offers few opportunities for either progress or education.

What are we likely to learn? That Callum McGregor is actually good enough to play for Scotland? Yes, well, Gordon Strachan was possibly the only man on earth yet to be convinced.

So let’s not pretend the emergence of the Celtic star represents anything other than a reminder of the previous head coach’s glorious obstinance.

We are left, then, with a squad chosen by an interim boss/performance director. A man whose day job is of such vital importance that he should instantly be ruled out of the running to replace Strachan on a permanent basis. Yet it actually looks like a group picked by committee. A selection sprinkled with players destined to become the subject of pub-quiz trivia in years to come.

Go on, name the Scotland player who waited five years to be promoted from the Under-21s to the senior squad.

No offence to Paul Hanlon, the late bloomer in question. He’s been playing well enough for Hibs this season.

Even allowing for Scotland’s shortage in central defence, however, it’s hard to see the honest, hard-working, model pro as the answer to our prayers and invocations.

And Hanlon isn’t even the most debatable candidate for selection. Everyone will have their own ‘favourites’ on that front. The point is that, if Michael O’Neill was already at the helm instead of preparing for this week’s World Cup tilt with Northern Ireland, you could see a point in Scotland taking a game.

Given the limited amount of contact time between international managers and their players, the new man would have leapt at the chance to take a couple of training sessions and work up some kind of basic tactical blueprint. But Mackay isn’t in the running for the job. Nothing he does this week has any lasting significance. And the players will have understood that, sizing up the situation and adjusting their interest level accordingly, the moment he was confirmed as guv’nor for this nothing bounce match. All over Europe, meanwhile, national teams are still involved in the race to Russia. All four play-offs kick-off this week and, without ignoring our own failings, the Tartan Army will look at each of the eight teams taking part and believe that at least four or five should be considered beatable.

With the right Scotland starting XI all performing at their best? Sure. Why not? Look at what we could have won. Look at where we might have been. The air of loss, of opportunities missed, is bound to hang heavily in the air on Thursday night. Any of the regulars who play poorly will be held accountable for Scotland’s most recent failure, while even a half-decent showing from a new face will cause anguish among fans who know, with absolute certainty, that we could have beaten Slovenia away… if only young McGregor had been given the nod.

Howling at the moon, raging against a light already long gone out, drowning sorrows and burying grievances under another chorus of Doe A Deer.

Sounds like a great laugh. Just don’t pretend the game actually matters.