HOW MANY OF THESE SEEM FAMILIAR?

DEMENTED MUMMY: JULIA

(Anna Maxwell Martin) She has a successful career, but give Julia responsibility for a child — hers or anyone else’s — and she falls apart. She could use some help from her family — but her own mum hides behind the sofa when Julia knocks on the door.

ALPHA MUMMY: AMANDA

(Lucy Punch) Leader of the playground pack and every woman’s nightmare: a glossy-haired, smiling assassin, able to deliver a steady stream of barely-concealed insults without pausing to draw breath. Attractive, immaculately groomed and in tune with her kids’ needs — while taking pleasure from seeing anyone else in her vicinity floundering. Especially Julia.

HARDBALL MUMMY: LIZ

(Diane Morgan) Liz has been there, done that and may do it again, if she can be bothered. Or has had enough to drink. Alpha mums can’t stand her. When Julia starts freaking out about hosting a kids’ party Liz dismisses her worries. ‘Buy four caterpillar cakes and put them together in one long human centipede, then let the kids help themselves,’ she advises. ‘Don’t even bother with a knife, just let them dig their creepy little fingers in.’

SIDEKICK MUMMY: ANNE

(Phillipa

Dunne) A wannabe alpha mummy, who, as Amanda’s sidekick, has a knack of asking just the passiveaggressive question to soften up Amanda’s victims so she can go in for the kill. But she’s as likely to suffer Amanda’s wrath as anyone.

STAY-AT-HOME DAD: KEVIN

(Paul Ready) Desparate to be liked by the alpha mums, Kevin is sweet but drippy. Keen to rekindle his flagging sex life with the working wife we never see. But, as Liz says, unless he mans up a bit, that’ll never happen.