Scottish Daily Mail

Christmas goes out the window

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orDINArY advent c al endars’ days are numbered. Instead of festive drawings behind each window, people are now treating themselves to Christmas countdowns that are filled with expensive beauty products, gins or chunks of cheese.

In Germany recently I saw ‘Sexy Xmas!’ advent calendars, with pictures of shirtless firefighte­rs and 25 days worth of chocolate for £1.

A nice gift, although each chocolate possibly moves you a bit farther away from that fireman dream.

How about a tax avoiders’ advent calendar? There’s nothing behind any of the doors because it’s all hidden offshore. or a Brexit calendar? There’s a picture of a blue passport on the 25th.

I must admit I’m intrigued by the prosecco calendar, but I’m not sure how it works. As a child, I’d open advent windows before school. Are we expected to neck a half-bottle of fizz at 08.30am then head to work smelling slightly of booze and toothpaste? I’m in!

Most controvers­ial of all is the Zoella 12 Days of Christmas calendar, with items selected by the YouTube lifestyle millionair­e.

It cost £50 and has only 12 doors. Zoella says she didn’t set the price, and it’s now selling for £25, but the real point is the rubbishnes­s of her pressies, which include a packet of sparkly confetti, a pen, cookie cutters and a pom-pom keyring.

A pom-pom keyring? This is supposed to be for teenage girls, not inattentiv­e cats.

 ??  ?? PRINCES William and Harry will play stormtroop­ers alongside Gary Barlow, right, in the latest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi. The stormtroop­ers all wear masks, of course, but you’ll know which one is Take That star Barlow when he starts moaning that the Death Star is no longer a tax haven.
PRINCES William and Harry will play stormtroop­ers alongside Gary Barlow, right, in the latest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi. The stormtroop­ers all wear masks, of course, but you’ll know which one is Take That star Barlow when he starts moaning that the Death Star is no longer a tax haven.

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