Stop your fussing and give little Fifi a sibling, Tamara

The ecclestone Sisters. If they didn’t exist, someone would have to invent them — for I confess myself gripped by their every adventure.

As the beloved daughters of Formula One billionaire Bernie, Tamara, 33, and Petra, 28, are worth about £250million each — but they can barely make it to the end of the street without laddering their tights or walking into a lamp-post.

Last year, Tamara was astounded to learn that toast is made from bread. Now she is in a state because her three-year-old daughter, Fifi, is going off to nursery for the first time.

‘I’m worried that they’ll make her wipe her own poo. She’s not ready for DAFT mum Sarah Hall wants Sleeping Beauty taken off her six-year-old son’s school curriculum over worries that younger children might get the wrong idea when Prince Charming wakes up Beauty from her 100-year slumber with a kiss — without consent. Any day now, my head is going to explode with all this nonsense. Miss Hall may think she is doing the right-on thing, that. This is so awful!’ she wailed. All Tamara’s self-worth seems to be invested in her little girl — and that is bad for both of them.

She should have another baby. And fast.

Meanwhile, younger sister Petra’s marriage to her gold bullion trader husband is over and her latest business venture is in trouble.

her company Stark, which makes handbags from python and alligator skins, has just posted £4 million losses.

I’m not surprised — have you seen them? The £600 backpacks look like elephant testicles with buckles.

No wonder dad Bernie despairs! but this is not feminism. It is the very worst kind of snowflakey cupcakery, where all girls are victims in waiting and no one can make a judgment or think for themselves. And childhood, that precious pause before the maelstrom of adolescence, is all but rubbed away by a barrage of confusing sexual messages. This nonsense must stop. And soon.