A VERY modern family of 11! Mum’s a City high f lyer, dad’s a Buddhist househusband
HIS high-flying wife has written a book called A Good Time To Be A Girl.
And perhaps it is, when you can set off for the office knowing your husband’s holding the fort at home – juggling homework, the school run and countless trips to Tesco.
Step forward Richard Morrissey – the stay-at-home dad of nine who credits Buddhism and ‘cocktail time’ for getting him through a hectic family life.
In an interview for his wife Helena’s book, the 54-year-old gives a frank account of his two decades as a househusband, admitting it has sometimes left him ‘lonely’ and ‘frustrated’.
But he also says ‘the happiness of others is very important to me’ and that he feels he has been ‘a positive and supportive influence’ at home while his wife made waves in the corporate world.
The couple, who live in Notting Hill, west London, with the younger children, have three boys and six girls, aged between eight and 26.
Mrs Morrissey, 51, is now head of personal investment at Legal and General, while her husband became a Buddhist monk – a stark contrast to his former career as a financial journalist, which he gave up at 35 to look after the children.
A Good Time To Be A Girl details how he has survived on a routine of ‘cocktail time’ – serving crudites and crisps at around 5pm – ‘sitting down time’ and episodes of US comedy Modern Family to manage the everyday chaos.
But he admits it has not been easy. In an extract of the book featured in the Sunday Times Magazine, Mr Morrissey says: ‘I’m neither a housewife with friends and yoga practice, nor a man in the public domain working and playing golf with colleagues. It has sometimes been aggravating and frustrating.’
He says the hardest part of his role has been society’s view of stay-at-home fathers, adding: ‘Being a parent in our society is not seen as a meaningful, full-time role, especially for a man, given the lack of income. There are not many men who “just” look after the family.’
His wife says her longest maternity leave was five months, while her shortest was just 11 weeks. Despite her work schedule, all of her children were breastfed.
The couple became grandparents last month after their 23-year-old daughter Flo gave birth to a son.
The rest of their brood consists of 26-year-old Fitz, Tuppy, 19, Millie, 18, Clara, 17, 14-year-old Octavia, 12-year-old, Theo, Cecily, ten, and Bea, eight.
Mrs Morrissey says there is ‘no privacy and no secrets in such a big family’.
But she adds that the benefits of having so many children is that ‘they all look after each other’ – even helping with each other’s homework.
Three of the older children – Fitz, Tuppy and Millie – all went to Oxford University and ‘urged each other on’. The newest addition – grandson Julian – was born on Christmas Day. While Mrs Morrissey dashed to the hospital, her husband was left in charge of stockings and preparing the lunch.
She describes her husband as a ‘trailblazer’ and largely credits him to her overriding success.
‘Often when I call home the kids say, “Dad’s at Tesco”. He’s brilliant at all that stuff and they all have great fun,’ Mrs Morrissey adds.
The couple have a white board in the sitting room where all the children’s activities are written down for the day. They also have a spreadsheet to help keep on top of everyone’s birthdays. Over the years they have enlisted the help of a nanny and a housekeeper.
Recalling her husband’s decision to halt his career, Mrs Morrissey said in an interview last year: ‘When we were expecting our fourth child, he sat down one day and said, “Look, we are struggling to cope with both of us having jobs” – such as working out which one of us would get home to relieve the nanny or wait at home in the morning until she arrives.’
The pair met while studying at Cambridge, marrying by the time Helena was 21. She gave birth to her first child at 25, naming him Fitz after the university college she attended, Fitzwilliam.
In her book Mrs Morrissey also opens up about her personal struggles – she admits being ano- rexic at the age of 14 and describes herself as a perfectionist.
She reveals that she sometimes ‘worries about some silly thing’ which has an impact on her sleep.
Last year, she was appointed a dame for her efforts to get more women into the top jobs in Britain’s boardrooms.
The businesswoman calls on her readers to ‘reinvent the game when it comes to work and life’, writing: ‘We’re not going to change anything by fitting a few more women into slots.
‘The old practices – presenteeism, lack of flexibility, strict hierarchies – don’t work well in the digital world or for a new generation with new values.
‘What we need is a different kind of capitalism.’
‘All have great fun’