A Scots anthem? Look no further than Lena

DEAN Martin once explained why he felt sorry for teetotallers: ‘Imagine getting up in the morning,’ he said, ‘and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day.’

I, too, have a method for ensuring that after my alarm buzzes, my day proceeds on an upward and pleasant curve – I flick through Twitter to see what I’ve missed overnight.

Topics lately included whether an independent Scotland would be able to forecast the weather almost as accurately as Norway.

Are Glasgow and Edinburgh the sexiest cities in the UK? Are Scots better drivers? Would we even have nuclear weapons if Scots had flown over Nagasaki?

I recommend this because after a scan of #ScottishTwitter, the day ahead looks brighter.

You could drive your car off the Queensferry end of the Forth Road Bridge and land on your sister’s house just as Harry and Meghan were about to join her for tea and biscuits, yet still feel that this was not the worst the day could chuck at you. Perhaps that’s the idea all along, in which case, cheers, Scottish Twitter.

In one dark and angry corner of social media, a sizzling debate has broken out over the use of Flower of Scotland at the Six Nations.

Apparently, rugby players might be insufficiently Scottish to sing the anthem because some of them supported the Better Together campaign in 2014.

Some online wished to take this further and extend the un-Scottish rule to include ‘cretins who voted “No” who have the temerity to sing Flower of Scotland’.

This poses an intriguing question about how an independent Scotland would fare as a more spiritual, tolerant and fairer society when some of its supporters would like to prevent people they disagree with politically from singing a song.

Another related argument has also gathered momentum: should we have a new national song?

The sensible response to this is to rise and be a nation that says, ‘Good grief, no’.

Flower of Scotland may sound like someone dragging a pipe and drum downstairs but we have already wasted years and years debating which hairy aria about Wallace and glens should be played at sporting events, instead of addressing why our international nickname at many such events is ‘Scotland nil’.

People may struggle to find their starting point with Flower of Scotland but at least it gives supporters a bit of a shout in the middle.

And far too many of its rivals wax sonorously about Scotland being forever in the heart, wherever the singer may be, which is frankly just Sean Conneryese for, ‘Yeah, I love you Scotland, just not enough to live there’.

HOWEVER, if we must cast around for something new, then at least one candidate waits patiently for recognition. The Lion Roars Inside Me is a breast-beating ode to Scottishness from the Scotdisc sweetheart Lena Martell, with support from the Alexander Brothers.

‘I’ve watched the sun go down on Galway Bay, the Pyramids and all the Seven Wonders, I’ve danced the night away in Monterey...’ according to Lena. ‘But when I return home to Caledonia, my heart is here.’ Sentiments we can all get behind.