Time to get fell in, all you ’orrible teenagers!
IF Dr Samuel Johnson was correct that ‘every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier or a sailor’, then the French are in for a treat. President Macron – darling of aching liberals, thanks to his youth and superficial similarity to Tony Blair – is bringing back compulsory military service. Sort of.
He wants 600,000 18 to 21-year-olds in uniform for three to six months.
That noise from over La Manche is the sound of thousands of 18 to 21-year-olds Googling ‘heel spurs’, but the fainthearted need not fret overmuch.
The Élysée Palace hints it may not be entirely obligatory and if you don’t fancy toting a FAMAS assault rifle, you might instead sling a mop in ‘civic service’.
The late Clive Fairweather, former CO of the King’s Own Scottish Borderers and No2 in the Special Air Service, would have adored this Gallic fudge.
An admirer of the elan of French Forces Spéciales and the grit of the Foreign Legion, he roared with laughter at the aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle dispensing vin rouge to all hands. ‘The difference between the French and toast?’ he’d say. ‘You can make soldiers out of toast.’
France phased out conscription only in 2011 and Macron, 40, is the first president not to have served.
As we enter an era as turbulent as the Cold War, callow centrist Macron is not the only one eyeing empty barracks.
Nationalists are always casting about for countries to be poster boys for Scottish independence. Sweden and Norway are two – both have conscription. Denmark has conscription; Germany is considering its return.
Lots of good little Europeans are worried as Vladimir Putin ‘restores Russian pride’ via a revitalised military.
Should we bring back National Service, halted in 1960? Prince Harry, who served in Afghanistan with the Blues & Royals and Army Air Corps, thinks so.
Colonel Tim Collins, whose eve-of-battle speech to the Royal Irish before the invasion of Iraq echoes still, favours the ‘short, sharp, shock’ of five weeks of training to create ‘better citizens, better Britons and better neighbours’.
National Service is attractive to those who despair of feckless youth and there’s no doubt it did many good.
LESLIE Thomas turned two years with the Army Pay Corps during the Malayan Emergency into best-seller The Virgin Soldiers; a relative of mine translated high-end Royal Corps of Signals skills into a top job with British Telecom.
There is a darker side, for 395 National Servicemen were killed in action.
As Clive Fairweather told a Mail colleague considering joining the TA: ‘Don’t think it’ll all be drill hall and beers. You might find yourself in a foxhole. Don’t sign up if you’re not prepared.’
No one needs forces big on numbers but stuffed with unenthusiastic teenagers desperate to be anywhere except within artillery range.
The key to curbing Putin’s aggression is to build professional, volunteer forces fit for the modern battlefield. Over to you, Chancellor Hammond. Because the way to outmanoeuvre the Russians, as with the Warsaw Pact, is by outmuscling them on defence spending across NATO, not by hurling an unwilling generation of youngsters under the tracks of their T-14 Armata tanks.