Our 5ft 3in Iron Lady was one of life’s givers

When my mum was a teenager and helping to unload tomatoes in her father’s grocery store in Keighley, West Yorkshire, she came across a scrap of paper in one of the boxes.

It had an address in Spain, a few lines in French and a name, eulalia. She decided to write to eulalia, and it was a friendship that lasted decades. That was what my irreplaceable mum did throughout her life — collect and nurture friendships.

When she died, we were contacted by people from all over the world. her letters were legendary and crammed full. There wasn’t anyone who could pack more news on a postcard than Mum did in her notoriously small writing.

Mum’s professional life was dedicated to the nhS and she helped establish the renal unit at St James’ hospital in Leeds. She was one of life’s givers — whether it was visiting sick neighbours, making cross-stitch cards or knitting easter chicks and Christmas stockings to sell at church fairs. She donated over 70 pints of blood in her life, only stopping when she was diagnosed with skin cancer in 2005.

She married my dad John in 1970 and five years later was pregnant. She only discovered she was having twins a few weeks before she gave birth, three months prematurely.

One twin, Matthew, died after a few hours and the other, Julian, had many problems including a club foot. he nearly died on a few occasions. Mum threw her all into nursing him.

I came along in 1982, and a year later she gave up work to look after us. how lucky we were that she was our mum.

She was feisty — many have cowered over the years in the face of her tirades — even though she was only 5ft 3in. Our nickname for her was The Iron Lady! She had her quirks, too. She adored picnics, but hated sandwiches, so out would come the picnic basket, the salad and the bread to be sliced and buttered. not forgetting the teapot.

She loved fish and chips, but refused to eat them out of the paper (too common). She’d bring a plate and a knife and fork so she could eat in the car.

In 2015, she was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer, but during chemotherapy she was still climbing up ladders to clean the gutters because our attempts didn’t pass muster.

She moved heaven and earth to get to my wedding in Mauritius in 2016. She had so much to live for and she’s gone too soon. We are bereft. After she died, I found a quote from Winston Churchill which she’d kept: ‘We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.’

It sums her up perfectly. Patricia Farrar, born January 26, 1943, died July 20, 2017, aged 74.